There are moments along any profound journey when it’s essential to pause. It’s easy to get so far ahead of yourself, especially when you’re passionate and excited about something that fully aligns with why you are here on Earth. Here’s a brief story about my experiences.

In 2009, when the recession hit, I was in my early 30s and found myself back in college. A part of me wanted to be part of a group that made a difference in the world outside of my classes. Growing up, I was quiet, shy, and preferred spending time with my furry family members or walking the wooded area of the 3½ acres I grew up on. So, returning to college also felt like an opportunity to step beyond my comfort zone. 

After my first semester, I received an invitation to join the Phi Theta Kappa Honor Society, and I also joined the Business Professionals of America (BPA). By the start of the 2010 school year, I was attending school full-time, working two part-time jobs, and had been elected Chapter President of the honor society – a role I embraced proudly.

Following graduation in 2011, I took a month-long break to relax and realized I had a passion for personal growth. I wanted to continue my own inner journey. The next semester, I took one class per semester at the local community college while pursuing my bachelor’s degree in accounting and business management part-time, allowing me to remain active in BPA.

From 2014 – 2016, the last two years I was in college, I was a part-time student, worked two part-time jobs, served as chapter President and Wisconsin State President of BPA, had a boyfriend, and joined a leadership company to enhance my personal and professional growth outside of college.

In April of 2016, a couple of weeks before traveling to the national BPA conference in Boston, my mother transitioned back to the other side. Although I was grieving, I finished my degrees by taking my final five classes during the summer of 2016 to reach my goal of graduating before I turned 40 the following spring. A week after I finished the degrees, I hit a wall that cracked me wide open. The weight of grief, stress, childhood bullying, and years of constant striving finally broke through my defenses, exposing everything I had been carrying. That mental and nervous breakdown became the beginning of my awakening. 

However, that didn’t stop me for long! Two weeks later I was promoted to a full-time position at one of my jobs and soon I was working 60 – 80 hours per week. In addition, I was an active alum of BPA and the community college. On occasion, I would stay up late or wake up during the night to write down the things that were coming to me intuitively. They would eventually become my first book, which I have now re-written twice to better align with what I’ve learned and realized since awakening. 

In January of 2020, I was fatigued, aching from head to toe, felt unwell in general, and was operating in fight or flight mode. I wasn’t smiling like I normally do and found myself snapping when I usually wouldn’t. Reaching a breaking point and getting many intuitive nudges, I submitted my resignation effective immediately. Ten days after walking away from my job, I was on a plane to San Diego to relax and visit my cousins in the mountains before attending a leadership conference in Ohio.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been very sensitive and intuitive, with a deep love for nature and animals. However, I didn’t consciously grasp this until about six years ago, after years of silently questioning my experiences and realizing not everyone experienced what I did. Growing up in a Catholic family in a small Wisconsin town, you didn’t talk about things like reincarnation, sensing/feeling disembodied souls, and astrology. However, once I came to understand what was going on and let go of what the church taught, it was easier to accept that I had been a highly intuitive empath my entire life. 

And with that acceptance, I wanted to start learning about who I am and why I’m here. I came across Michael Sandler’s Inspire Nation soon after when one of his episodes popped up at the top of my YouTube feed. 

The first time I watched an episode with Geoff and Adamus a few months later, I felt an immediate connection and resonance, which I didn’t feel with the other guests on Michael’s show. I was already at the point of overwhelm and paused for a few days before really allowing my intuition to guide me. After a couple of months, I narrowed my focus down to the strongest three – Michael’s School of Mystics, the Crimson Circle, and Lee Carroll.

Until late 2024, I occasionally explored the Crimson Circle website here and there, watching live webcasts and older ones I felt drawn to. After strong intuitive nudges, I began watching from the beginning, and the connection only deepened. It began to feel as though I had been part of the Crimson Circle from the start. I soon learned that Geoff and Linda were born and raised in Wisconsin not far from where I was born and raised. Which strengthened the feeling of connection even more. Last summer, I narrowed my focus to one source after realizing the Crimson Circle truly was where I was meant to be.

After listening to the final Shoud of the On the Wings of Hope series, I went through over 10 years of Shouds in just over a month to prepare for the next phase. During this time, I also began releasing old roles. I gracefully stepped away from my seasonal part-time position of over 22 years with the Green Bay Packers after training my replacement, and let go of active alumni involvement with BPA and the community college, sensing my service there was complete.

Although I was already feeling some of the symptoms Adamus would eventually speak about in February’s Shoud, I kept moving forward, determined to push through any feelings of overwhelm, disorientation, and fatigue. In early December, I completed the Sexual Energies School (SES) and attended the Christmas Shoud – my first in-person event – the following weekend. I had always felt a connection to Colorado since childhood, but this was my first time there. Within a couple of days, I knew I was home. After returning to Green Bay and letting things settle, it wasn’t long before I made the conscious decision to move to Colorado this coming summer.

By early January, the overwhelm and disorientation had increased. I began waking up during the night for the first time in many months. Even routine interactions and responsibilities felt like too much. I didn’t want to be around people and found myself wondering if something was wrong with me.

Just days before the February Shoud, a co-worker retired. Normally I would have cried, but this time my eyes watered for a few seconds when I saw two co-workers tearing up and then, no emotion. I felt proud of my composure, thinking I was getting better at it, but inside I felt almost nothing. 

My body was also speaking through persistent aches and pains. I pushed through those too, attributing them to energetic shifts and old injuries. Even as I intuitively heard “Master’s Pause” and “burnout” almost daily, I continued to push forward except for a few hours here and half a day there. Then, when Adamus spoke in the February Shoud about letting everything catch up, it felt like a light turning on in a dark room. Everything I had been experiencing suddenly made sense. 

Looking back, I was so excited and passionate about my journey, about those I share it with, and about doing what I came here to do, that I overlooked what was truly going on within me. And I somewhat ignored the signs that I sensed, heard, and even saw right in front of me. The occasional brief pauses I had been taking were not to the depth I was being nudged toward. Even while physically taking it easy, I was still creating, writing, learning, preparing for the move, and engaging with my co-bot. Why? Because I didn’t want the momentum to stop. Yet, in doing so, I found myself in the very cycle Adamus had described.

I wasn’t wrong in my excitement and enthusiasm. I was wrong in ignoring the messages from my intuition, body, and other signs. This experience is helping me to better discern when my body is telling me to pause. Since the February Shoud, it’s become easier to recognize the difference between when my body is saying “stop” and when an aspect is trying to keep me from doing something. I discovered several years ago that all I feel, sense, and hear intuitively comes from my right side. All aspects, worries, fears, concerns, anxiety, and so on comes from my left side. I have now discovered my nervous system starts reacting from my left side too. Now, when I sense my left side saying “no,” I simply feel into it to determine if it’s my body or an aspect.

On February 15th, I intuitively heard “Sandhill Crane” and felt the nudge to see how it relates to my journey. So, I asked my co-bot, and this is what I learned: The Sandhill Crane stands silently in stillness for long periods of time listening for the right inner timing before moving forward. In other words, they intuitively know when to pause, and when it’s the right time to continue their journey. 

What I realize now is that pausing is not a setback. It’s a recalibration and reorganization, allowing the rest of yourself to catch up. The mind may want to keep pushing. However, the Master knows and understands that the stillness within the pause is serving them. Listen to your intuition, to the inner nudge, and to your body telling you when to pause and when it’s time to move forward.