SURPRISED BY JOY
By Clare Gately
My niece celebrated her birthday recently and she sent me a video of her little 3-year-old son Fiann helping his dad to carry the cake and sing Happy Birthday to her. As you can imagine, this is not the first lovely video I have received over the past 3 years of his life, so I was taken by surprise at my reaction. Feeling what seemed like a very deep emotional pain come rushing up to the surface, I burst into tears.
For many reasons the video warranted a second viewing. As I watched this adorable little boy sing Happy Birthday, I observed how he was putting his whole being into the song. He gave it 200% all the way through. At the very end he jumped up and down, fists punching the air, shouting “hurrah, hurrah!” I don’t think I have ever witnessed such an embodiment of joy, enthusiasm, and love.
The emotional pain remained as I completed the second viewing; but I had also arrived at an explanation. I realized that there was a deep longing in me to feel that way about my life again; to feel that way about living on Earth.
My own birthday is coming up soon and I truly wish I could be as excited about it as little Fiann was about his mama’s birthday. I would love to be able to get a cake and candles for myself and truthfully sing a full-bodied Happy Birthday to me, including hurrahs, fist punches, and jumps. A true proclamation to the universe that I love being alive and can’t wait for whatever the next year will bring. An acknowledgement to myself of what I have done here on the planet through so many lifetimes. My mind tells me I’m not there yet with that level of enthusiasm, the Master says, “It’s only a breath away,” and an aspect pops its head in and replies “Yeah, right!”
After Heaven’s Cross and the completion of my mission as a Realm Worker, I made the soul-level decision to stay to be an embodied Master, but it was not a full bodied ‘yes to life’ human-level decision. Not even close. It was more of a ‘I haven’t gone through all that shit for lifetimes just to leave now before the good stuff arrives’ sort of choice. Perhaps you may relate to that one!
I love benching and am aware that, on this planet, my presence alone is enough. I’ve always known that. However, I also know that I have a huge creative capacity that surges in me, calling out for action, and it is not happy ‘just’ sitting on a bench radiating light.
Most of the creative ideas and inspirations that have floated in over the past 20 years have, after an initial excitement, fizzled out pretty quickly. I have attributed this to my lack of energy, which in turn was perhaps due to splitting myself between Earth and the collective unconscious, taking on the clearing of all sorts of gunk (silly, silly soul)! However, this inability to create led to huge frustration and despair. I developed an aspect that, as soon as an idea came to me, would whisper seductively, “Why bother? You know what happened the last time. It won’t go anywhere. What’s the point of even trying.”
Beneath all this turmoil over the years, there is a quality that has kept me going through everything, one which I probably share with most Shaumbra: determination. It has been with me my whole life and is what has kept me on this planet. As a child it was the determination that, when I was an adult, I would find the answers to the many questions I had that no one else could answer.
Through all the years of clearing, processing, fatigue, and frustration, it was the determination that I would figure out what all ‘that’ was about before I died; determined not to be on my death bed saying, “What the fuck was that life about?” Being a Realm Worker has answered so many of those questions and I feel much more at peace with life.
And now, determination, my oldest and longest friend is here to keep me focused on allowing a true passion and joy for life to arise within me. A passion that goes way beyond what I have known before, otherwise what’s the point? It’s not about going back to some previous measure of happiness but forward into unknown levels and potentials. After all, it is new energy, not a rehashing of the old.
In true Shambra style, it’s about raising the bar of joy for all humanity, demonstrating to the world that joy is our inherent birthright and does not depend on anything outside of us to evoke it. Equally, as an inherent state of being, circumstances should not be able to take it away. Mastery indeed!
In truth, it is a ‘Happy Birthday’ to all of us who have stayed after Heaven’s Cross and are learning to walk and talk the New Energy. Perhaps it’s time for all of us, birthday or not, to get the cake and candles out and truly honour who we are, because no one else knows what we’ve been through to get this far.
And, while many of us may be still feeling a little ‘Humpty Dumpty like,’ splattered and discombobulated, let’s remember we are in the New Energy so we can certainly be put back together again. We don’t have to wait for any King’s horses or men. We are Masters. We do it ourselves. We do it by allowing everything to come together by itself.
I have deep gratitude to my little grandnephew for being an embodiment of joy and reminding me that it’s time for me to follow suit. And while I may not be able yet to give a full bodied “Yes!” to life and living on earth, I know my old friend determination is with me, and it hasn’t failed me yet. Hurrah! Hurrah!