✨AI Generated

By Joep Claessens

Watching Geoff & Linda going over the 21 Shaumbra Realizations during the Light of the Merlin event was pretty stunning. It made me realize how far we have come in the 24 years that Crimson Circle has been around. To see it spelled out, how much we opened up consciousness, was awe-inspiring. Mind you, I am definitely not at the point yet where I am able to fully embody all of those 21 realizations. But the potential is there now.

Yet, if I would have heard that message 20-odd years ago when I discovered Crimson Circle, I would have turned around and ran the other way. They would have been completely beyond what I was able to comprehend at that point in time. I sure needed those 20+ years to get to the point where we are now, where these truths can be shared, talked about, and lived.

It will be interesting to see how those that are coming in now or at a later time will receive them. It would be a true testament to the path that Shaumbra Founders like me have carved out for others to follow, if they can embrace them fully, without needing all the time and hard work that so many of us had to put in to come this far.

Taking in those 21 Realizations made me look back over my own personal journey with Crimson Circle of the past two decades. How did we get from ’12 Signs of Your Awakening Divinity’ (2003) to ’21 Shaumbra Realizations’ twenty years later? If you were there, you might remember how exciting it was to go over that list of 12 signs when it came out, to check off the ones that applied to you (all of them, right?) and to discuss them on the old Shaumbra message board. It’s been quite the ride!

What follows is a very personal recollection of the major shifts, aha’s and insights that happened in my life since then, on my way to full realization. It is by no means exhaustive, just the big ones that came to mind first. And the list no doubt would look different for each and every one of us, so as always, take what resonates and leave the rest.

This idea was pretty mind-blowing when Tobias introduced it in the early days. Lowly human, yes, fallen angel, maybe, but an angel? It took a while to wrap my mind around that one! Of course, Tobias also redefined the whole concept of what an angel is, clearing away all the old religious overlays, which made it a bit easier to accept the idea. It turned out that as angelic beings we were just as clueless as many of the current inhabitants of planet Earth still seem to be. Heck, we volunteered for the Earth experiment, that says it all!

Tobias reminding us again and again of our angelic origins ¹, eventually helped me realize and accept that I am so much more than just a mortal being having a finite human experience. I am a multidimensional being that chose to have an incredible, immersive, physical experience. And the cool thing is that as humanity we are at a point in our collective journey where we can begin to bring all of that into the human experience. That’s pretty amazing, right? No wonder we signed up for this!

Along the same lines I also came to realize during those years with Tobias that it’s not an accident that I am on Earth. I wasn’t sent here as some sort of punishment or to work through a bunch of lessons. I chose to be here, especially right now, because I wanted to experience mySelf on a whole new level. ²

Mind you, I don’t always agree, for my Human Self definitely wasn’t part of that decision and doesn’t always like being on Earth. So at times ‘little I’ resents that it’s been put in a position it doesn’t really want to be in. But then I remind myself of what ‘the group’ through Steve Rother once said: that when we lined up to come to Earth at this particular time, many angels stepped aside to let some of us move to the head of the queue, as they felt we could have a much bigger impact than they ever could. That always stuck with me. I believe it to mean that if you are here right now, you are special and bring a unique piece of the puzzle that is needed right now!

Tobias’ messages also made me realize that what I was going through was part of something much, much bigger than I ever could have imagined. It wasn’t just my personal journey to find some deeper meaning in my life; it was all of humanity going through the biggest shift in human consciousness in history. And it didn’t just start in this lifetime. It started even before we ever came to Earth, continued in Lemurian and Atlantean times, in biblical times – when we planted the seeds of the Christ consciousness – and in the Mystery Schools of old. And I’ve been a part of it all along! Tobias put things in historical perspective, even beyond Earth’s history, and gave the bigger picture that up to that point I was totally unaware of. ³ It sure made me feel I was part of something BIG. And being at the forefront felt totally cool!

When I found Crimson Circle, they had a page on the website with a list of local contacts. It listed Shaumbra all over the world that you could contact and connect with. There was nobody listed in my area, so I had my name added. At first, I was only contacted by people that lived in other parts of the country, but then after a year or two, all of a sudden I was contacted by about ten local people, independent from each other. We started getting together once a month, to chat and share experiences. We didn’t even talk that much about the material; just being with others that were on the same journey was such a blessing.

Both Tobias and Adamus have told us how special it is that we are going through this as a group. All of the Ascended Masters that came before us were on their own. But we can connect with others like us, share experiences, laugh and cry, or grumble if we feel like it.

✨AI Generated

This is not a typical lifetime. It’s not a continuation of my past lives, and it is definitely my last lifetime as a human on Earth. That’s another concept that was pretty mind-blowing when Adamus introduced the idea in the DreamWalker Ascension School back in 2007. What do you mean, my last lifetime? You gotta be kidding! I still have lots of karma I need to clear. I need at least a few dozen lifetimes more to do so.

This idea also took a while to get used to. As the ‘designated ascendee’ ⁴ I am the one to pick up all the pieces of all of my lifetimes and hand them over to my Master self to distill all those experiences into wisdom. For you can’t take all that stuff with you when you go into full Realization. Over the years I’ve come to accept it though. It’s not something I talk about much, being a last-timer. It’s just a knowingness I carry in my heart.

That’s one thing I realized when I wrote these down: most of them have become so much a part of me that I don’t even think about them anymore. Nor do I feel the need to talk about them much. Another reason to start writing them down is so I don’t forget how they were once huge revelations and breakthroughs that took time to integrate.

And as for those dozens of lifetimes to finish up? That still feels right; it’s just that I’m cramming all of them into this one, a multi-lifetime!

Another thing that the DreamWalker Ascension School brought into focus was that ‘integration’ was a prerequisite for ‘ascension,’ integration meaning bringing all the parts and pieces home to the core of you and eventually melding the human and the divine. The Aspectology School (ASP) that was recorded one year later brought that even more to the forefront.

✨AI Generated

The most shocking eye-opener of the Aspectology School was that we basically all have ‘multiple personalities.’ Where before ASP I tended to see myself as a whole, integrated being, Tobias made it perfectly clear that in fact I was pretty fragmented and totally unconscious of that fact. Some parts – ‘aspects,’ as Tobias calls them – are serving me in a good way (the ‘clear’ ones), others are totally dysfunctional, sabotaging me in all kinds of ways (the ‘gray’ ones), and then there are the severely wounded and completely dissociated ones that are after my soul (the ‘dark’ ones).

Taking the Aspectology School started a journey that continues to this day, of learning to recognize those different aspects in my daily life and bringing them back ‘home.’

Another challenging part of the Aspectology School was that it showed me how much of what I thought, felt, and even acted out was not my own. They were the thoughts, feelings, and actions of ‘aspects,’ where to me they had always been my own thoughts and feelings. For example, I always considered myself a shy, introverted, timid kind of guy. Aspectology made me aware of my scared-to-death little boy aspect, a bleed-through from a past life, that kept blocking me from truly opening up to others. And then there was my wounded warrior aspect, another past-life inheritance, who kept me from fully embracing my masculinity. Once upon a time I created him to keep me from losing it again, hurting others – or worse – in the process, which he faithfully did, until I decide he no longer serves me.

The Sexual Energies School (SES) added another layer to this “It’s not about me” as well. It made me aware of the ‘sexual energy virus,’ which also is feeding me thoughts, feelings, and urges, so that it can keep feeding off of me and others I interact with.

And then of course, there is mass consciousness, something I’m inevitably plugged into as well, feeding me beliefs, ideas, thoughts, and whatnot.

The realization that so much of what I always thought was my own, but in reality wasn’t, definitely made me feel out of control. How on Earth could I tell the difference between what I was being fed and what was truly mine? For me that was mostly about developing an alertness, over years and years of trial and error: having the presence of mind to recognize the mind loops and behavioral patterns that don’t serve me anymore and then choosing to move beyond them, again and again. Not easy, but recently it dawned on me how my mind has become so much more quiet than it used to be, and that I experience a lot less emotional turmoil as well, especially compared to my pre-awakening days. That sure makes it a lot easier to discern the voices that are not mine. ⁵

Adamus mentioned once that it takes on average 5.2 years for Shaumbra to fully integrate any new concept he introduces. I attended the Sexual Energies School in 2006, and then taught the school at least a dozen times back when Crimson Circle allowed certified teachers to present some of the core material on location and in-person. But to this day – 17 years later – I still play the victim game every now and then. These days I usually catch myself pretty fast and can make the choice to indulge for a while or snap out of it, but still…

We all integrate stuff at our own pace (and I’m definitely a slowpoke!) but I keep telling myself that there is nothing wrong with reverting every now and then to an old pattern I feel I should have left behind. It’s a matter of being kind to myself and accepting all things as they are. ⁶

I don’t always agree with what’s being put in front of us and that’s okay too. Like when Adamus keeps telling us that “Only a Master allows energy to serve them.” That never made sense to me. Energy cannot NOT serve us. It is always serving us, even if we act like fools or clergy, for my energy simply responds to whatever level of consciousness I’m at. Serving myself up a dose of foolishness is no less an act of service than serving myself a dose of mastery. I guess I just don’t get yet what Adamus is trying to tell us with that one.

My point is that I can only meet a truth at the level of consciousness I’m at. And sometimes I’m just not ready yet to understand it, let alone embrace it. Like I said at the start: most of the 21 Shaumbra Realizations would have gone completely over my head if I’d heard them 20 years ago. The real measure of mastery is to apply the art of discernment: if something doesn’t resonate, then apparently it is not for me – at least not yet – and I can just let it go.

Quite a number of Shaumbra have crossed over in the past 24 years, as you can see on the ‘In Memoriam’ page that lists a few of those that chose to leave. There definitely have been moments on my journey where I felt I was ready to leave, if only because I was so tired of it and bored with life, not to mention looking forward to finding a nice, quiet corner on Theos to retire to. But so far it hasn’t happened. Still, the idea that I can check out any time I feel I’m really done is sweet. I’m not afraid to die, that’s for sure, as I know it’ll mostly be a relief to finally be able to leave my human existence behind. ⁷ But apparently, I’m not done here yet, so onwards we go, Shaumbies!

I’m pretty sure that those 21 Shaumbra Realizations are just a stop along the way too. Ten years from now, no doubt those will be old hat too, just like the 12 Awakening Signs are now. For now, they are a great reminder of what we are currently in the process of integrating into our reality landscape. Exciting times we live in!

1. If you want to know more about our origins as angels, read or watch ‘Journey of the Angels’ (book / cloud class.) And if you want to get a taste of your multi-dimensional nature, check out the many DreamWalks that are on offer in the web shop. Or for a deeper dive I recommend Interdimensional Living and DreamWalker Death. ↩︎
2. See, for example The Lost Children of Christ or Shoud 4 of the Merlin I Am Series (‘Why Are You Here?’) ↩︎
3. Again, Journey of the Angels and also check out Lesson 1 of the Ascension Series (Aug 2001) – ‘It Is Not About You Anymore’ ↩︎
4. For Adamus’ take on the ‘designated ascendee,’ see Shoud 4 of the e2012 Series, titled ‘Life Designers’ (Dec 2011) and Shoud 1 of the Art of Benching Series (Oct 2021) about being the Zero Point for all of your lifetimes. ↩︎
5. Shoud 10 of the Returning Series (May 2009) – ‘User Accepts Full Responsibility’ ↩︎
6. The 5.2 years was first mentioned in Shoud 2 of the Passion 2020 Series (Oct 2019) titled, ‘Spiritual Maturity.’ See also: Shoud 10 of the Wings Series (Jun 2018) titled, ‘True Allowing.’ ↩︎
7. For everything you always wanted to know about death & dying, but didn’t even realize you wanted to ask, check out the DreamWalker Death cloud class. And for a virtual visit to Theos there’s the Theos DreamWalk. ↩︎