✨AI Generated

By Turid Rein

In 1999 there was another war going on in Europe, causing millions of people to flee from their homes. The Balkan war in the nineties was a shocking experience for Europeans, as we had to witness concentration camps and great suffering amongst people. 

At that time, I was teaching in an area of my country that welcomed many refugee families, and every day I had to deal with children and parents with war traumas. I found it impossible not to get emotionally involved, so I dived into all the drama and did everything I could do to help. I felt focused, alive, and energized. But at the same time, it also stirred up something deep inside me – pain, guilt, grief – and it slowly wore me down. I started feeling more and more tired, and when I eventually took a long break from work, it even got worse. My body hurt, my memory was gone, and I just couldn’t go to sleep at night. In late August 1999 I was in bed, facing another sleepless night and feeling completely helpless, and suddenly heard myself asking for help. 

What happened next is impossible to convey, but I can best describe it as:

Incredible powerful currents of waves with electrical light which flushed into my body and mind. 

It was so powerful that it knocked me out, for how long I will never know. When I came back, still at night in bed, I had no understanding of what had just happened: 

My body felt electrical, my mind was gone, and my physical heart was bursting with energy. I remember saying loudly to myself: This must be spiritual! 

But my journey leading to that night had been without references to any spiritual or religious groups. My family were all country people with knowledge and love for the natural and simple life, and I was not brought up in a religious environment. I would say that they were very intuitive, not anti-religious, but the church was not a part of their life. 

I was curious about the New Age in my early adult years, because there was a deep longing within me for something. I read a few books about spirituality, but I was never a New Ager. I was more into politics and philosophy, but my deep longing and search for that SOMETHING stayed with me and became even deeper.

I will never forget those late August days where I spent my time trying to cope with my awakening. I felt overwhelmed with LOVE, and an intense feeling of ONENESS, connected to ALL THERE IS. I felt a HEART with a string into ETERNITY. I was extremely fragile, and my feet barely touched the ground. I knew intuitively that I had to keep this experience to myself for a while before sharing it with someone, and I was sure of one thing:

I have not consciously done anything to create this experience, so it must be natural. It happened to me, and therefore it can happen to everybody. I am also sure that I am not crazy! 

Feeling the vibrations of the energy field within and around me was a very real physical experience completely unlike anything that I had experienced so far. I have practiced dance and conscious movement most of my life, and I have a very strong body awareness. My knowingness and body wisdom were very clear:

This is a spiritual experience!

My mind was in shock, and I had no idea what “a spiritual experience” meant, which caused lots of anxiety. The electrical waves of light energy carried on at night for several days, and I also started to have clear inner visions, as if I was watching a film and participating in it at the same time.

One night the “film” was very alive:

A scroll appeared in front of me, and when it rolled open, I saw that it was a map of the world. It was alive, and I saw all the land and the oceans, and how it all was moving and changing. I saw old landmasses disappearing and new land emerging. It felt so natural, like a birth! It was beautiful and overwhelming at the same time.

I don’t remember so much from this time, other than that I was resting, either on the couch or in bed, most of the time. My family and friends thought that I suffered from severe exhaustion (which was true) and left me in peace to recover. 

A couple of months later, on my birthday, I sat down at the table and decided to start a diary to pass some time. I opened my new book and wrote some sentences on the fresh pages, and before I knew it, words full of biblical terms poured onto the pages. Beautiful, poetic wisdom was floating from my pen, words and meaning that I did not understand. I had never written like this before, and it was shocking! My practical mind tried to analyze the situation:

I am all alone in the house (listening very carefully). I don’t feel the presence of anything or hear any voices. I don’t hear any voices in my head (great relief). This is not automatic writing (no force was moving my pen), so what is it? Where does it come from?

The minute I raised the last question, I knew the answer. It came from deep within my chest, my heart. 

THAT was a very frightening moment, and I immediately stopped writing and closed my book. I knew it couldn’t just be me because most of the messages I wrote were expressed in biblical terms. It was clear that something or someone knew me at a very deep level. At first, I was given the facts about my awakening:

You have been through what we call a transformation. What you have experienced is the healing power of light, also known as the Holy Spirit. It will appear when you ask for it, but you must ask with your whole beingness. Your suffering is from the past in another lifetime. You are not alone in this. You are with a group of people who have been transformed at the same time, and you will all meet through me. Your studies will tell you who you are, where you come from, and where you are going.

This was a simple and clear message, but I had no awareness of what it meant, and the words were strange and unfamiliar to me. 

It took a long time before I relaxed, but in the end, I became completely dependent on my morning writing routine. The guidance I received in writing calmed me down, supported me, and gave me hope, because this was a very difficult time in my life. I was euphoric and extremely fragile, like a newborn. I could easily have walked away from everything – my family, all my belongings, my whole life – and just wander about in a cloud of euphoria. But I knew from the depth of my heart that there was no need for that, and it was very clear to me that I wanted to integrate my experience into everyday life. 

My awakening happened in late August 1999, long before we had computers in our house, so I didn’t know that a man with the name of Geoffrey Hoppe was gathered with a group in a teepee, across the Atlantic at the same time, doing his first channel with Tobias in a big group.

I learnt to relax, and life slowly got back to a NEW normal. I changed my job, bought a computer, but kept my secret to myself, because I knew intuitively that the time was not ripe to tell my story. And there was no one in my circle of friends and family who I could talk to about my awakening. They witnessed the changes in me, but there were few signs in my behavior other than exhaustion, and I left it at that. 

I thought a lot about my experiences, and searched for answers, but without having a clear understanding of it. I was in many ways naive, and spiritually inexperienced (or so I thought LOL), and had no words to label it. 

Four years went by. I wrote, enjoyed my new job, family, and social life, all while I was integrating the NEW ME, and the euphoria gradually wore off. Eventually I shared my story with a close friend who was spiritually aware, and one afternoon in 2004 she called me: 

I have just had this profound encounter with Archangel Gabriel, and when I searched for more information on the internet, this web page turned up. You must look at it. 

I went straight to my computer, and there it was, the first channeled Tobias materials. (This was before the Crimson Circle website as we now know it.) 

One of the first Shouds I read was “The Lost Children of Christ” and I will never forget the chills in my spine and the rush of energy in my body. In that moment everything fell into place. I recognized the energy and the depth of the messages. I could not deny it anymore – this was REAL! 

I dived into the Tobias material, but resisted the idea of participating in a “spiritual group,” and when I finally met Shaumbra I was disappointed. I suppose my idea was that we all were alike and would fall into each other arms in total understanding. I could not have been more wrong! However, the EYES of Shaumbra was a completely different matter. It was all there in the eyes, recognition of each other beyond time and space.

The Tobias material was a very physical experience, where I felt the vibration of the words in my body. I learned to take deep breaths, and to embody what I sensed within and around me. It was not always without fear and resistance, but I knew that I didn’t have much choice, because my soul had decided it was time. My awakening was very clear in that way. My soul had waited and prepared the ground, so to speak, for me to get to the point of awakening, while my mind was busy doing other things. 

When Tobias left and Adamus turned up and shouted to Shaumbra to get out of the easy chair and start to do something, I was a bit shocked. He then proclaimed that he would start a school, and that we would have to study and even have homework. I completely resisted it. No studies or lessons for me, thank you! My knowingness was very clear:

This time around (remembering past lives) I don’t want the words or anybody to tell me what to do or believe. I want to make sure that everything I experience comes from within, in a natural rhythm of evolving and emerging when its ready and ripe. That’s what happened in my awakening, and I trust that. I want the sensual, physical experience of it all. To feel it, to sense it, to feel the divine beauty of my HUMANITY.

I knew that my mind would get in the way if I were to study with Professor Adamus, so I let that go. He was talking too much, and I disliked his fancy words and bossy style. Too many words, and it didn’t appeal to the simplicity I felt within. 

I felt lost and sad because I felt that might be the end of it as I let go of the monthly Shouds. At the same time, my life changed drastically when many of my loved ones suddenly departed from their life on Earth. It was a very emotional time in my life, but it was also a time of huge energy shifts in my body and mind, and through all the tears and grief I was also able to let go of some of the grief and guilt that I had carried with me in so many lifetimes. 

After a year or so, I would occasionally have a quick look at the monthly Shouds, never listening, but reading what I found interesting. It didn’t take long before I understood that what I read made sense to what I felt within – in my body sensations and inner visions – and what I experienced in my everyday life. 

I started listening to Adamus again, and I knew then that I didn’t have to read or study anything, because the channeled information was a natural flow of energies which I would experience in my own unique way, at the right time. It is who I AM and have always been, and as Adamus says in the first Shoud in the ALT series:

Acknowledge and understand the mind has stepped aside and now the divinity, the Master that you’ve always been, it takes the throne. 

I found my balance along the way, where my own wisdom and body awareness melded together with the teaching of Adamus in a most interesting dance of energies; not always a waltz, mostly it turned into a breakdance! I learned new steps along the way, and while dancing, I discovered the love and compassion of my new dance teacher. 

I know now that I was carrying a huge energy packet labelled “SUFFERING” from another lifetime, and that aspect drained me and stopped the flow of energy in my life. As it happened, that packet was ready to break loose and release its secret. I had developed a sixth sense, the ability to smell suffering in others, and as a carrier of the sexual energy virus, I was attracted to it and fed on it. But the burden became so heavy in the end, that my Spirit came forward and took charge, because I asked for it. 

The gift of feeling the suffering of others is that I got in touch with my own – or my own suffering got me in touch with others; it IS all my energy – and every time I took on that burden, I filled my well of pain till it was full and overloaded. I was basically drowning in it and finally had to surrender. It was brilliant at the time, because I did not have the tools or the awareness to do it different, and this was before I knew anything about Crimson Circle, Aspectology and SES. With today’s consciousness and the tools available, aspects are more willing to surrender and come home, instead of lurking around in darkness and misery, which makes the human life so complicated.

My awakening was rude and beautiful, and little did I know about the journey ahead. Frankly, I’m a bit surprised that I am still here, and that my body and mind have survived all the intense changes. I have wrestled with my own energies many times, not willing to give in, but I have also been the calm eye of the hurricane when the goings got rough. I am in AWE of that. And there has been lots and lots of laughter, joy, and magic along the way. 

I am still here, shaken and stirred, but I have no doubt whatsoever that I am made for this. My DNA was ready to pop, and my soul eager to take a quantum leap. This is what I came here for.

To me, the most brilliant teaching of Adamus is to RELAX and ALLOW! Everything will happen in its own time, in a beautiful rhythm of evolving and emerging, in a most natural and organic way. There is no rush, or right or wrong. All That Is will release its secret, when I am ready to let go and receive the divine beauty of SIMPLICITY, and of being HUMAN.

In deep gratitude and awe to all that I AM, and to all with whom I share this amazing and intense journey.