GO WITH YOUR
FEARS

By Patricia Eberlin

It is December 24th, I am getting ready for Christmas Eve, having my family coming at 6:30pm. Around 2pm, with everything under control and timed to perfection, I savor a moment’s pause. Suddenly I feel nauseous and dizzy, so much that I have to lie down on the sofa. The dizziness gets worse, so does the unease, and my human starts to freak out. Heart attack? Stroke? Immediately the worst with the Human, of course, while my inner Merlin remains calm, which reassures me.

OK, it’s nothing serious, but then what is it? I feel a non-verbal response that could be translated as “something New that’s impossible to define at the moment.” I take it. I ask the human to shut up please, and I observe. Suddenly I feel cold inside my bones. I tell myself I’ve got plenty of time before the guests arrive, so I’m going to curl up under the duvet in my bed. 

I experience a very strange moment, uncomfortable in something unknown. It’s not really pain, more a quantum quirk that destabilizes me because I can’t identify it. Then the Human starts again. Maybe I’m dying? Oh nooooo, that would be silly, on Christmas Eve. I figure my door is not locked so they won’t have to break it down, but all the same, what a strange surprise for my family to find me dead in my bed, especially today! At the same time, I think that if this is what dying is, it’s perfectly acceptable. It’s not scary, I’m just intrigued by what’s happening to me. The more I accept the situation, the less painful it becomes.

To the side, Merlin is patient, waiting to be asked his opinion. When I do, he assures me that I’m not dying, but that I’m experiencing “some cosmic stuff.” Plus, I’m just remembering my firm intention to explore the planet as an embodied Master for a few centuries if all goes well, so NO, definitely not, I’m not dying tonight! 

I take a deep breath, let go of all my fears and enjoy the experience. It’s psychedelic; I see fractals that make me nicely dizzy. Images scroll across my inner screen in a jumble, with no apparent cohesion, no meaning. I let it happen, it’s rather amusing. At one point, I hear myself thinking that “I’m on another planet.” I’m extremely lucid and present in my physical body, I feel the duvet on my skin, the warmth of the mattress in my back, and I ‘feel’ the new planet without visualizing it. It’s a kind of milky white fog, and yet I’m capturing a whole world in this strange chantilly. It’s as intense as riding a rollercoaster, and since I’ve let go of the fear, it’s just as exciting! A sensual ride impossible to translate into words, I live it fully and observe myself from my bed. Flabbergasting! 

And then I fall asleep. When I wake up, it seems like this has been going on for hours. I’m about to get agitated to finish preparing for Christmas Eve dinner, but no, barely an hour has gone by. I’m as fresh as if I’d had a good baby sleep, perfectly back and aligned. I’m almost doubting the intensity of what I’ve just experienced, so much so that I’m back to “normal.” If I had to describe what I’ve just experienced, I’d probably say it was a little trip to another dimension through Heaven Cross.

We had a lovely Christmas Eve with my family, and a few days later I felt a small toothache. It’s a small infection that my dentist detected a little while ago and explained to me that he wasn’t going to do anything for the moment because it’s already on a root canal and treating it would mean a major, possibly catastrophic, dental project. All I have to do is keep an eye on it. So I begin to treat it as usual, half with traditional medicines, half with witch’s potions, while keeping a close eye on the pain to make sure it doesn’t get any worse. It’s not very strong, but it’s still there after two days. The Human gets back to it: “You’re craaaazy! You’ve GOT to go to the emergency room, an infection in the skull is no small thing. You’re going to hurt, you’re going to suffer, you’ve got to do something!” I reply that dental emergencies on a Sunday, 31^st of December are just too much drama and inconvenience. We’re just not doing that. NO WAY!  

I am done with suffering in my life. I’ve had too much already in this lifetime, so even a little pain has become intolerable. I call upon Merlin with all my being and also Adamus, Kuthumi and all those who wish to respond to my SOS. I need an instant healing 2.0. I call my light body and ask that it takes its place in my biology. If ever there was a time to do this, it’s now! At that moment, I see a hand holding a sphere of sacred geometry, like a flower of life, kind of a galactic tool in violet fluorescent light that moves towards my cheek near the infected tooth. The pain subsides immediately. I keep the visualization to welcome my light body and ask it to create a network of light to drain the infection. It works quite well but the worry persists: the gravity of the human biology programming is firmly resisting this New One. 

Adamus reminds me that these are all my energies, and they serve me. I switch my thinking: infection, pain, it’s all serving me! For what? No idea, and it doesn’t matter. If I accept that it’s serving me, then where does it lead me? Instant relief. I’m no longer fighting an infection; I’m welcoming it and observing what it’s doing for me. Then I hear my biology telling me: “You see, it’s working! You wanted magical healing, you’re being served. What you call pain is the sensation of the new circulation of energy in your teeth. The infection is going away, you can feel it pass. Trust the process, it is renovation.”

I took some paracetamol for a few more days just to reassure the human who couldn’t be reassured any other way. Every time I forgot to consider the New, the anxious pain — or painful anxiety — returned. As long as I maintained the vision of my light body at work installing a new system, my biology was more fluid and the physical discomfort became pleasant, validating the presence of the New within. In the past, when I imagined our prophesied magical healing abilities, I thought of a magical wand’s touch that instantly transformed an aging body into regenerated youth. Poof, hocus pocus, get up and walk! I have to admit that it’s much more fun this way, experiencing every moment of the transformation. 

I find that the hardest part of all this is keeping the mind at bay, ignoring what has been known since the dawn of time to listen to the inner voice and follow the path of the New Energy. And because it’s NEW, there’s nothing to compare it to, no reference, no security, just the New to adjust to. The trick is to move forward – complete with a sense of imbalance, nausea, and dizziness – and simply go for it. And, most important, not trying to control anything, just riding the wave. 

I’m picturing the big slides at water parks. One knows they’re designed to prevent accidents, but it’s still scary! But if you try to control your speed or your course once you’ve started, it’s guaranteed to leave you bruised and sore, and with zero fun! I understand that from now on, I need to experience the New Energy like one of those toboggans: dare to fully live it, take my fears by the hand for the quantum leap, completely let go of control and scream with pleasure! I also understand that there won’t be the same slide twice, so I’ll just discover and enjoy each slide to the full.