By Natalie Harmon

I have a tendency to laugh – a lot. If I trip and stumble, I can’t help but chuckle at the way my body contorts itself on the way down, and the potential hilarity of my appearance. If someone else takes a spill, I’ll rush to ensure they’re okay, but it’s a Herculean task to suppress a spontaneous giggle. It’s not malice; I simply find life inherently absurd.

Every day, I find the mundane utterly amusing. The way our bodies move to accomplish simple tasks like walking or eating, the peculiar stances we adopt when conversing with others, the curious sounds people make while engrossed in their own world (particularly during one of Adamus’ merabhs), even the peculiar habits of drivers who think no one’s watching. I’m captivated by it all, and it never fails to elicit a chuckle.

✨AI Generated artwork by Natalie Harmon

That’s What Shaumbra Said

“You have an ugly but pleasant laugh.” 

“I’m vegetarian but sometimes I’m not.”

“What’s a taco?”

“How old are you? You seem young and act very young, but you have wrinkles.”

Speeding along in my four-wheeled box from point A to point B, I often wave at familiar faces. Sadly, most are ensnared in their thoughts or running on autopilot, oblivious to the world around them, and my greetings go unnoticed. I can’t help but wonder about their daydreams, playfully concocting scenarios in my mind. “Me like go slow, but if Dave try pass, me go more fast, he no go faster.” Yes, sometimes it seems like people are speaking in caveman, which, I admit, is rather comical.

Truthfully, I have a deep admiration for people, although I often prefer to observe them from a slight distance. At social gatherings, you might find me dipping my toes into various groups, fluttering around like a social butterfly; yet, being alone and engaged in quiet observation is a cherished pastime of mine. Whether I’m savoring a drink, casually leaning against a wall, or nestled into a cozy couch, I find immense satisfaction in watching humanity, and am often wearing a subtle, knowing smile.

Have you ever observed people dancing? When you have the privilege of witnessing those rare individuals who wholeheartedly immerse themselves in the unbridled joy of music, the ones who dance with absolute abandon, it’s an utter delight. An appetizing glimpse into their authentic selves, it’s as if each one hears a different melody, providing a source of endless amusement. 

Occasionally, when someone demonstrates something new to me, I can’t help but laugh. It’s not meant to offend; it’s just a reaction to the subtle gestures and expressions people make when explaining things. 

Passing thoughts while on camera filming Adamus:

 “Keep it together HUMAN!”

“I should have worn Depends.”

“It’s almost over. It’s ALMOST over…”

“Does he EVER shut up??”

“He’s looking at me, he can read my thoughts, think good thoughts,
OMG HE’S LOOKING INTO MY SOULLLLLL!”

“No, he can’t read my thoughts…”

“I wonder what Vanessa made for dessert.”

“Phew, not so bad today” *sudden stomach cramps*

“We are doing so good…” BOOM, CRASH! *another cameraman faints*

✨AI Generated artwork by Natalie Harmon

Have you ever caught someone staring at you and responded by exposing all your teeth? Life can be fascinating, and I’ve chosen to view it through the lens of humor.

Do I laugh too much? Perhaps. Sometimes, my face even aches from it. I’ve tried to tone it down for the comfort of others, but that doesn’t sit well with me. Suppressing my laughter triggers anxiety because it feels inauthentic, so I laugh that away too. It is my favorite way of moving energy. 

You see, laughter is both my coping mechanism and my favorite form of therapy. It doesn’t mean I’m incapable of being sensitive or serious when the occasion calls for it. I do experience anger and moments of profound despair, and there are plenty of witnesses. But laughter and joy always find their way back to me, making life bearable and facilitating my survival. Or, in layman’s terms, Allowing me to last!

Honestly, it’s disturbingly easy to succumb to the abysmal depths of misery. 

When I was three years old, my biological father was entrusted with the last of our money to buy medicine, but he returned with beer instead. Consequently, my mother left, marking the last time I ever saw him. This event triggered an immense longing for home within me. Life on Earth didn’t unfold as I had imagined; I wondered if I could return and start anew.

My adoptive father quickly filled the void left by my biological father, but his passing during my early teens left me feeling abandoned once again. He, too, was replaced, but this time by someone with deep emotional disturbances. When my mother gave birth to my half-sister, he made it clear that I was not welcome in his “new family.”

I began to manifest my inner pain physically, seeking outlets for my suffering. One particularly dark night of the soul, I gave myself an ultimatum: if there was nothing more to life, I was done.

✨AI Generated artwork by Natalie Harmon

How Villa Ahmyo parking duty feels like with Shaumbra:

“They told us to park tight with no gaps!”

I underwent realization before I even learned to drive. While initially life-changing and euphoric, the passage of days, months, and years brought a suffocating feeling of claustrophobia within my human. Armed with the truth, it sometimes felt like my true self was being constrained by a repulsive vessel of meat.

I turned to alcohol and recreational drugs, putting myself in precarious situations where I was taken advantage of. Then, one day, at the ripe old age of 18, I had an epiphany. I discovered the meaning of life: to experience and enjoy.

To EXPERIENCE life and JOY! 

It was so simple, yet profound. Realizing that nothing truly mattered, in a liberating sense, brought immense calm and I made it my priority to find joy. 

Moments of suffering, such as the loss of my seven-year-old half-sister a few years later, who was taken from this earth when her father chose not to face death alone, made it difficult to find any semblance of joy in being human. However, with time, I began to remember what joy felt like, allowing myself to embrace it.

You see, you can drown in grief or choose to experience and heal. It doesn’t erase the pain or diminish its significance, but for me, the latter seems like a better choice.

✨AI Generated artwork by Natalie Harmon

Laughter realigns me with my true self. So, I don my costumes – by the way, that taco outfit takes up quite a bit of space in my closet – I chuckle to myself, and skip along as though I’m a comedian on an everlasting stage. It’s not personal; it’s just how 

I am.

It feels liberating, and after enduring far too many decades without laughter, I refuse to go back to that dark and damp place. You can’t make me! (Yes, I can be quite dramatic too, in case you haven’t noticed.)

I’ve even created some comics to showcase the absurdities of my work life. “That’s What Shaumbra Said” is inspired by real-life events and the things people have told me while working, usually in service, like the true Master that I be. Yes, it’s definitely embellished! Without my keen sense of humor (any eye rolls yet?) I would have felt insulted or shed a tear, but I CHOOSE to laugh.

Now, I’ve brought something tangible into existence, not just for myself, but for friends. This is one of the many reasons I’m here – to remind you to let go, not to take it personally, and to realize that it’s all incredibly ludicrous. Maybe I’m like a human reality check.

My unsolicited advice to you? You may have guessed it (insert drum roll, or the sound you think happens when the heavens part): 

Don’t ever trust a fart.

Just kidding! Here’s my real advice: Laugh more. We all have that choice, and it can help you change perspective.

Find amusement wherever you can and let loose with a hearty belly laugh, now and then. Do ridiculous shit simply because it brings joy. Step out of your own way, and please, I implore you, get out of your damn head! Experiment with different laughs when you’re alone – why settle for just one? Laughter suits everyone, after all.

8And if I’m nearby, you’ll probably hear me laughing before you see me. I hope I make you laugh too, even if it’s at my own expense, or Marko’s. By the way, do you know he published a book? We all do. And if you don’t, he’ll make sure to tell you.

I’ll give you one guess as to what I’m doing as I conclude my banter.