✨AI Generated
From Expectations
to Embodied Wisdom
By Alla Shvarts
It’s been a while since I looked back at the time when my journey began and how everything that happened to me before awakening shaped my personality and identity. Taking into consideration that awakening came after my forties, my personality was all set and done, held in place with a lot of brick and mortar. One of the most significant factors impacting my behavior and perspectives was expectations. This factor shaped me, created boundaries around me, and set standards that I had to measure myself against. Anytime I would want to change something, the expectations would pull me back. My fiercely independent personality fought against them with a vengeance but without success.
All my life there were expectations to fulfill. My family expected me to be a good daughter and make them proud of me. My husband expected me to be a good wife and good mother. And, of course, there were my own expectations to be the best of the best. These expectations guided my life, my education, my career, and brought me from the land by the Black Sea to the land of freedom, the United States. I had an American dream to work hard, make a lot of money, retire, and travel the world with my husband.
And then came the rude awakening. My husband got sick.
I was so determined to help him out that I started looking for conventional treatments, unconventional treatments, and even support from religion (while not being religious at all). You name it, I tried it. Somewhere along this search, we wound up in Brazil in one of those places for “spiritual surgeries,” and this is where it all began.
My husband did not respond to any of the treatments or spiritual surgeries, but in me the switch had been flipped. I started reading esoteric books, attending spiritual seminars, shamanic circles, and anything else I could find on spirituality.
I had awakened. I was ecstatic, and at the same time felt that something was wrong with me because everybody was telling remarkable stories while I felt nothing and did not have any experiences that would prove that I was spiritual. I went through all stages of the awakening journey that Adamus so concisely describes in Master Code.
In 2008 I found Crimson Circle, and in 2009 I became a part of the Shaumbra community. I listened to all the Shouds, attended all the workshops, and bought all the products. I had a couple of “spiritual experiences” here and there but nothing that would come even close to the stories that other people shared. They were talking about visions, life changing encounters with Saint-Germain, Kuthumi, and Tobias. I had almost nothing.
I did learn the name of my Over Soul thanks to Adamus, and the name of my Master Self thanks to Kuthumi, but that was the extent of it. I had some dreams, minor glimpses of other realities, but nothing that other people were describing during Crimson Circle events.
I developed body issues and chronic diseases, and even started taking medications because my body needed them to stay alive.
I expected a Great Revelation during the summer of 2020 when Adamus said that a large group of Shaumbra would become Realized. Nothing happened. I was so irritated that it was hard to describe. I basically exploded with curses.
I hoped for a Great Change after the Heaven’s Cross. Nothing happened. However, this time I was not irritated because, after my great “frustration explosion” of 2020, I had dropped my expectations and therefore was not disappointed. No expectations – no explosions.
Then came Love 2.0. Again, no expectations for any great transformation, but I felt warmth, kindness and love coming from Adamus, and my entire being responded to it. To this day I listen to the sessions almost weekly and every time it does something to me that I cannot describe in words.
✨AI Generated
What I do realize today is that I am a totally different person than I was even a year ago. I cannot pinpoint how and when it happened because it has been a gradual process. But somehow, all the expectations held by my Human Self have totally gone away. And this has changed everything.
How can I describe my experience today? I love myself so deeply that it cannot be explained in words. I trust myself implicitly and nothing anyone could say would make me doubt myself or think that I am wrong. I have a very analytical brain and logical mind that helps me to make daily life decisions, but this no longer stands in the way of deep experience. I know that my physical body and light body are merging and wish that I had a device that could measure this integration, but I can only rely on what I feel.
I am an Embodied Master and plan to stay on Earth for many years.
And, even in this knowing, there are no expectations of what this embodied mastery will be like. I just go with the flow, guided by my self-love and trust, and enjoy every moment.
The Expectations Story is just one more reminder to myself not to build barriers, boundaries and walls. No more barriers to cross before I’m “there.” No more boundaries keeping me separated from my Self. No more walls I need to break through, keeping me occupied with yet another distraction. I am too wise now for all that nonsense.
I guess this is what Adamus has been trying to tell us for decades, but I just didn’t get it… until I got it.
I feel this way, too. No fireworks, just a quiet and slow becoming, more and more…
Awakening into self love ebbs and flows for me. Old patterns of thinking, overriding thoughts with kindness. Slowly expanding into a new brightness, is where I am, thanks for your beautiful opening. Xx
Sem expectativas!! Gratidão!!
Свобода… 💓💓💓
💎♠️✨
И это так!
Спасибо за обмен, Мастер 🙏❤️
Hi from your roomie on the Egypt, 2011 trip. Thanks so much for sharing, glad to read how your journey keeps blooming in beautiful ways!
Liebe Alla, danke für deine Geschichte, die auch meine Geschichte ist!
Alles Liebe
Eva Maria
This brought tears… so different from my difficult journey of an early indigo child… so quiet, graceful and natural. Bravo Master.
Dear Alla! What an inspiring story! And beautifully crafted, too. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Thank you.
I’ve had a lot of spiritual fireworks along the way. But truely, all I’ve ever wanted, is what you have found now.
Oh my, yes! My expectations had shackled me to frustration and confusion most of my life, even though I considered myself “enlightened.” I thought my being was clear but there was so much more to do. Thank you for your post! Shedding the skin of all that has gone before has not been an overnight task for some of us.
“Сегодня я осознаю, что я совершенно другой человек, чем был еще год назад. Я не могу точно сказать, как и когда это произошло, потому что это был постепенный процесс. Но каким-то образом все ожидания моего Человеческого Я полностью исчезли. И это изменило все. “, –
недавно ко мне пришло похожее ощущение, и это так радует!
Какая чудесная статья, опыт, выражение, так от этого хорошо.
Спасибо!
Querida Alla,adorei seu artigo!
Muito obrigada!
Dear Alla,
After reading the post, Just felt like hugging you.
Love,
As Adamus always mentioned, I have had the same experience as you. So today I was reading this article while feeling frustrated with my pet and I laughed at myself! I definitely still had some expectations. Was it shy and hidden?… WWW
And I was able to clearly confirm my current position. appreciate it 💖