SHAUMBRA HEARTBEAT
Multiple Me
✨AI Generated
By Jean Tinder
( CLICK ON PLAYER TO BEGIN LISTENING TO THE AUDIO VERSION OF THE ARTICLE )
One of the most useful things I’ve learned from our ascended friends is the knowledge of aspects. This unique understanding of creative expression and the return to Self honestly provides the whole foundation for Realization and mastery. However, the question inevitably comes up, whether from other Shaumbra or my own cranky human self: “Is there no end to all these aspects?” A lot of us have attended the Aspectology School, and integration has been a topic since the early days of Crimson Circle. Shouldn’t some of us be getting to the bottom of the barrel by now? Will we ever run out of “problem children” (aspects) to integrate?
It seems that as long as I’m alive on this planet, integration will probably be needed. Yes, it definitely gets easier, but I suspect it never actually stops. Think of it like this: as long as you’re living in your house, it’s going to need to be cleaned. Whether you’re one of those ultra-tidy people with every belonging in its place or you’re more, let’s say, relaxed when it comes to clutter, the house still needs to be cleaned now and then. Dirt gets tracked in, dishes get used, dinner gets spilled, stuff happens. I’m pretty sure it’s the same with aspects.
Those who have attended Aspectology know that it’s only the beginning. It’s an excellent way of learning about aspects and initiating the process of integration, but after a thousand-plus lifetimes, one weekend isn’t going to clear everything. The human would simply collapse. It takes time and patience, especially if we’re going to stay on the planet for a while.
Personally, I’ve been consciously bringing aspects home for more than 15 years, and during that time my life has gotten much clearer, much smoother, and easier. There have been short and sometimes long bouts of heavy and painful intensity, but the actual process of integration is now facilitated by the ease with which I (usually) recognize what’s happening. Emotion comes up, reaction happens, and soon I welcome my dragon as she brings another gift. It’s simple, but it’s not always easy.
Aspects are often spoken of in a way that makes them sound separate and outside of self, which can be confusing because they actually feel exactly like me. I’m the one feeling hurt or scared or angry or out of balance, so clearly, something must be wrong with me. Right? No. I am actually whole and complete, an eternal divine being masquerading as a human; a Master full of wisdom and understanding. Therefore, when I feel anything that’s less than masterful, it means aspects are involved. They feel like me because they are me, just not the real Me.
✨AI Generated
Yes, I am a multiple being, full of countless voices, each with their own opinion and purpose. But living as a Master means I’m also very clear about who’s in charge of the inner horde. And I’d like to share some recent experiences with a couple of my many selves.
A few months ago, in the course of sorting out some travel details, I made a choice that had unexpected consequences. It was done with the best of intentions, along with a good dose of ignorance regarding keeping a clear line between business and personal stuff, and it made sense to me at the time. But when unforeseen complications came to light and I got a talking-to about making smart decisions, it caused quite an internal storm. A meeting was scheduled to sort things out, and the first thing I did was try to explain myself. In other words, a part of me lurched forward, interrupting everyone else with the urgent need to make sure they knew my intentions were pure, and I really didn’t mean to misbehave. But my intentions were never in question! So why did I needlessly monopolize the conversation?
An aspect had gotten triggered, one that felt it was exceedingly important to be heard and understood. She was almost in a panic, which I felt and acted on, because… well, why? What would happen? What did she fear? And where had she been hiding all this time?
Breathing with it later, chagrined at my outburst, I realized it was the voice of a group of selves who had suffered tremendously due to being ignored, misunderstood, unbelieved, and every other dismissal one could imagine. Somewhere along the way, I created a part to make sure that would never happen again, at least not without a fight, and she was on it. But this is a new era. Nobody’s going to burn me alive or cut off body parts, and that vigilant hair-trigger guard is no longer needed. Problem is, she didn’t know that. Aspects don’t work by logic, and this one was stuck in the desperate need to be heard, blind to the fact that an explanation wasn’t required.
From the perspective of my observing Master self, it was an interesting experience. But without the awareness of aspects and the understanding of where this reaction came from, well, it would’ve been me panicking. It would’ve been me making a spectacle of myself, trying to be heard and no doubt creating more opportunities to tackle it again and again. Fortunately, I do know about aspects, so I let myself feel it all – the fear of judgment and misunderstanding, the cringe of “Gah, I know better than this,” the head-smacking ignorance – and let it all settle inside the awareness that I am all that I am.
✨AI Generated
Thanks, dragon. That was embarrassing but effective.
Another day I was out with a friend, packing for a short hike. I wanted to carry something, but they wanted to put it in a backpack. We found ourselves in a brief silly argument, both trying to lighten the other’s load. Finally, my friend said, “Just give it to me!” Feeling myself shrink, I meekly handed over the item, silent resentment and frustration beginning to simmer. A voice inside me wanted to shout, “You’re not the boss of me!” but nobody was bossing anybody. Clearly, a button had gotten pushed; a blinking neon sign indicating the presence of an aspect. But knowing about aspects and actually integrating them are vastly different things. Being in that sacred ‘multiple presence’ – aware of my Master Self and whatever small self is active – doesn’t mean I get to bypass the irritating feelings.
Yes, I knew immediately what was happening – another aspect spotted, another volatile gift from my dragon – but this time the knowing didn’t seem to help. As we walked through nature’s beauty, I let myself feel all the turmoil, pain, and upset, breathing and trusting. I was doing all the right things, but it wasn’t getting any better. Nothing was at peace yet. Even though I knew exactly what the problem was, the aspect refused to back down. Why? It was just an old button. What difference does it make who carries what? Why can’t I let it go already?
Another thing about aspects is they cannot be forced.
A while later we stopped for a picnic, and I shared with my friend what was going on inside. This friend is a very conscious and sovereign being who knew better than to try to fix anything, because they also know that I’m a sovereign being and can take perfectly good care of myself. A few tears fell as I shared my feelings – apparently the aspect needed that release – and then suddenly everything was fine. It wasn’t about the story of who did what, and no one was to blame. I just needed to share it out loud, and then everything returned to balance.
I felt a new space inside where the turmoil had been; a new freedom where, moments before, there had been tightness and protection. Clearly another aspect had finally come home. But I wondered, why didn’t it happen sooner? Why did I have to tell my friend about my feelings before it would let go? I didn’t need anything from them, so why did I have to share out loud? This time it wasn’t about being heard. In fact, retelling a story – such as talking about mistreatment to justify victimized feelings – is a way of maintaining the “inbound gravity” that keeps everything stuck. So, I’m not a fan of trauma stories or assigning blame. I prefer to take care of such issues within myself. So, why couldn’t I let it go sooner?
In answer to the question, my friend shared a bit of insightful wisdom. Because most of our wounds happen in relationship with others – families, lovers, friends, enemies – sometimes the healing comes easier in the presence of another person. It was a head smack moment because Tobias has said essentially the same thing: Integration is far easier in human form because most of our aspects were human. That’s why we’re doing it now.
Aspects. Integration. The dragon. Sovereignty. These are all fantastic concepts that symbolize intensely challenging real-life experiences. Ultimately, they bring freedom, but the emotions one goes through are visceral and palpable, and a lot of courage is required to stay steady in the storm. The experiences are very real, and it can be confusing because the emotions feel like mine. They feel like something is wrong or I’ve messed up or gotten wounded or there’s something about me that needs to be fixed. But at this point in my journey, I know there’s nothing wrong with me. Which means that when those wretched feelings come up, they’re just handy indicators that part of me might be ready to come home.
This is what the dragon does. She sniffs out and digs up old, buried aspects – ugly, ashamed, wrapped in pain – and presents them to me as the greatest gifts she could possibly find. But I can only receive this treasure of more of myself if I’m able to remember that there’s actually nothing wrong with me. No judgment, no fixing, nothing required but total acceptance of everything I feel, and absolute implicit trust. If I need to talk to someone, I don’t need an excuse. If I need to cry, I don’t need a reason. If I feel like shit, I don’t need a story to explain why. I just need to trust myself, do the thing in front of me, and find out how it serves me. For it always, always does.
The key to freedom is remembering that even though I am a multiple being, I get to decide who is the boss of me.
Will integration ever be complete? Will I ever become one? Well, like housework, as long as I’m living here, it’ll never be completely finished. But with regular maintenance and a diminishing number of messy roommates, it sure does get a lot easier.
Thank you Jean. This is a message I really needed to hear tonight. I have been feeling terrible guilt and shame because my little dog broke free the other day and attacked my neighbors dog. The other dog was not hurt, just very upset, as was his owner, and rightly so. I told her I was so sorry, and thought I had him sufficiently tethered. Things like, ‘that’s it, they’re gonna hate me now’. They will tell my other neighbors and none of them will want to have anything to do with me anymore. It’s stupid, irrational, and I should have evolved beyond this by now, dammit! Still, I can’t shake those feelings, the fear of rejection. Thank you for giving me a better view on it. I will have to find a friend who can set me straight. 😊
Thank you for sharing. Currently in the experience of integrating a 50-year old aspect expressing a ton of guilt and shame as well as a real medical condition, your article reminds me that most of us are still involved in the homecoming of aspects. As you say, it takes a lot of courage to stay steady in the storm. What is helping me right now is radical positivity – if everything is made up anyway, why not making it up the way which contains the highest concentration of Joy – gratitude and allowing help from within as well as fellow humans.
Absolutely! The never-ending multi-layered and multi-dimensional stories we create are so much easier to go through and experience with a companion and a reflexion holding your hand. Thank you Jean! Big Shaumbra Hug!
Thank you, this is the question that many ask: Are these aspects coming from a bottomless pit, can this task be even completed? The article came at the right time for me also. I ask myself, perhaps this age old concept of the peaceful perfect master that we solidified in many lifetimes suggests there is a problem when old reactive emotions come up. Perhaps without this imprint we would not struggle…?
Dear fellow Master,
I am here. After listening to your article I wanted to first say thank you for sharing your story. Isn’t that what we’ve been asked to do? Telling our stories? So I also wanted to share mine with you so it might serve you in the whole process of integrating your aspects and house cleaning 😀
I have attended Aspectology as well and have had the same perception regarding integrating them until the day I read a quote from Adamus that said: „I don’t have aspects I am having facets!“
It dawned to me that it’s the fast track to integration because I also became aware later that Adamus mentioned that we can be as he himself be self appointed enlightened Masters the moment we accept that and he also mentioned that (and you know that) that energy serves us in the way we choose to perceive ourselves. So if we do perceive ourselves in the process of integrating our aspects the energy will serve us and it could as you describe it be an ongoing process of integrating your aspects.
So when I heard that statement from Adamus I decided to take the easy way. And everyone else can do that when they choose. It’s just a simple choice.
Regarding your perception that you always need to clean your house I would love to add that since I read a story in the book from Baird T. Spalding „The teachings of the Masters of the far east“ if I do remember that book title correctly I learned about the Masters in that book that they were able to not get dirty and read about their beautiful so called Great Work. I immediately felt that I would love to be able to do the same and that they were part of the Great White Brotherhood wich as I have also learned later became the Crimson Council.
And Adamus in one of his great books in the story called the Laundromat where the Master meets a student who is cleaning his clothes in a Laundry Salon if this is called correctly and it’s regardless of the story where the Master wonders why humans are repeatedly need to clean their clothes instead of them not getting dirty in the first place.
And Adamus also mentions that more than once over the years that we would be able to not having to clean our clothes or house at one point because energy is going to serve us and would take care of that for us. Even in the new Dreamwalk into Aerotheon he makes that statement.
I am sure that it’s possible for all of us and I am sure that we will experience that because we are Masters if we choose to accept that and finally letting energy serve us.
Namaste and Oh-Be-Ahn!
Gratieeee! Aleg sa nu ma mai murdaresc!
Jean,
One day all of humanity will come to the understanding you have so clearly described.
Your sharing and wisdom are greatly appreciated.
Thank you.
Wow, this was certainly a wonderful bit of insight and reminding for me. Thank you again for your wisdom and clear sharing.
Brilliantly clarifying about something I have struggled with for quite some time.
Bravo! Thank you!
Dear Jean , I’ve enjoyed listening to your story a lot …. thank you 💗
I recently talked about how Love 2.0 is like another dragon-threshold, as for many of us, as it seems, it has brought up a lot to look at recently, particularly those aspects relating to all things self-worth, or lack thereof. Intense, with a sting, tears fell. Love 2.0-Dragon seems to bring all of it up from even deeper within, in such an intense “in-your-face” way, but only to bring in such a clarity that paves the path for the new love to be able to emerge. Like you said, and also in my experience, these episodes no longer last long, the integration now seems to happen a lot more swiftly and smoother. No more mulling over events for months, now it only takes from a few minutes up to a few days, and then suddenly everything is fine. *Poof , lifted. Thank you for sharing so beautifully and honestly from the heart. ❤️
Great Jean.
You make it sound so “easy” the awareness of what part of me is “driving”.
So key, the presence of all that I am in the now moment.
And it is as simple as that.
Very clear and helpful. Thank you.
Indeed a beautiful describtion and very helpfull for sensing when to and when not to speak for me!
Thanks Jean! ❤️
Thank you Jean, that’s what I needed to read – hear…⚜️
Thank you Jean, beautiful words. I too came to the conclusion as long as I am here, aspects are part and parcel of life. Also, asking for help is ok, I don’t have figure everything out alone! LoL I have forgotten lately that some of the events in my life are not about my ongoing ineptitude,but are my beloved dragon repeatedly showing where to allow the experience,feel it and let it go. Love myself,take the moment to recognize my own beauty and enjoy dancing to the song I sing instead of cursing it.
Thank you, exactly what I needed to hear as well!
“Will integration ever be complete? Will I ever become one?” Those may be sorts of presumptive questions we ask after having gone through Apectology. Mass consciousness is the environment we live in (by the choices we make). Like dust in the world — I was just thinking of that as I was reading your article, then your house clean analogy came up. Great minds, Jean!
Instead of “becoming one”, which we already are, we can purposefully create aspects to work for us – “the oneness of many.” When people say, “Now I’m putting on this or that hat,” isn’t it that they switch to an aspect? I, for example, don’t like hanging out with people very much. But in my work as a hypnotherapist, when a client comes into my room or shows up on the screen, I get very excited. My “therapist aspect” takes over. I’m in love with people’s problems hahaha!
Dear Jean, thank you for your wisdom and clarity. It’s always a delight to read or listen to your insights and I find myself reassured and so inspired for my own journey. So thank you from my very heart….Patricia
Hi Jean 🙂
It was very insightful, and thank you for sharing.
The problem is they are endless in quantity and the moment they appear, they are putting me into a halucinative kind of state.
My wisdom comes in after a minute (it was half a day in the past), but within that minute, it is creating lots of things.
So I am taking those potentials into my soul’s light, each time. Very big and the dark one.
In the past, a psychic Shaumbra friend was helping me with regression (kind of). Lots of them came home.
One massive one left. It is reminding me Adamus’s story from his book. Benching and feeling his aspects. Dark one is coming, speaking and insulting the others and then leaving 🙂
Being a translator and having a good memory helps to notice them also 🙂
The worse thing about them is, they are shadowing self-love.
Long story short, they are like broken records. When their melody plays out in life, they are triggered. I wish you all patience and love 🙂
And thank you again.
Gracias querida Jean estas palabras tuyas son un resonar muy profundo en mi , no e tomado ninguna clase aún , pero queda claro que la lucha estúpida que tengo con todo es nuestra de mi falta de confianza en mí , que todo lo que e vivido ya no es mío y el enfrentar tantos problemas y dilemas cada día con este desorden es claramente los aspectos que como bien dijiste saltan con gritos incesantes para ser integrados, no deseo contar mis historias pues sería seguir en el juego de la víctima, tu y los maestros claramente lo dicen todo es nuestra creación y buscamos culpables para darle sentido a nuestras angustias y frustraciones, soy migrante y me siento acorralada, pero tus palabras me hacen abrir mi conciencia, el desorden causado por mis pensamientos no me dejaban ver qué todo es parte de mi experiencia y que no es luchar contra todo lo que me pasa , sino como ejemplo lo digo es un niño tratando de buscar a su madre y negarle el derecho de volver a casa , gracias queridos maestros,no hay batallas solo aspectos que nos negamos entender y darles la bienvenida a casa ,para que dejen de dar tantas vueltas y devuelvan nuestra vida
Oh..good one, thank you Jean. I realized that because I do have a cystitis again..I was in my “ What did I do wrong..again” nothing!
thank you for that. For what ever reason this aspect is very stuborn and gives me the finger. I also feel the love now..it is trying to protect me, like..Don’t you worry..I will not let that happen to you again..I keep you on your spot, no more growing bulshit 🎁😝
Indeed..it is not the middle ages anymore, I will not get raped by trusting to much, somethin like that,
Wow…it is all more simple now, thank you!
Maravilhosa a sua explicação sobre como perceber os aspectos. Mas, me confortou muito a seguinte frase: “ O que significa que quando esses sentimentos terríveis surgem, eles são apenas indicadores úteis de que parte de mim pode estar pronta para voltar para casa.”Obrigada
❤️ Thank you, Jean! ❤️
Brilliantly shared – like always. 🙂💜🙏
Gratitude
Thank you, Jean. Very timely and I especially love, and will keep in mind, your last sentence about “…a diminishing number of messy roommates…”! : D
Hi Jean,
Thank you so much for sharing your story! It feels good to see others are going through similar experiences …. Confirming, there’s really nothing wrong with me 😉
And it feels so good to self-acknowledge about what we are really doing, to be able to stay steady in the experience of this storm. And what kind of experience is that, being able …. Ahhh
By the way, I recently had also an encounter with the ignored one…. And after the storm I was delighted and felt very gifted.
Regarding your “question” if integration will ever be complete. For me, it’s like that, it just depends on where I’m looking from.
If, in my awareness, I’m experiencing myself on a timeline, maybe a good question.
But if I allow myself to BE in my awareness of No-Time, free of time, where everything is at ones …. Everything is already here….
So I revealed to myself and realized that I’m already free, I’m already one …. And now I wanted to write that I’m already fully integrated, and that triggered here. As I’m writing, I’m getting aware, that I haven’t allowed myself yet to realize, and acknowledge that I’m also already fully integrated — so right now I did ❣️ thanks for that trigger ….
Everything is just an experience, a story — no more, no less. And I’m the actor, the director, the one who experiences it all, and everything. I’m multiple, and I’m no-thing, I just exist ….