✨AI Generated

By Jean Tinder

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Although we’ve heard many times that perception creates reality, it’s a topic that bears repeating because, well, it’s so dang true! Whatever issues are happening in your reality are there precisely because of the ways you perceive life, the world, and especially yourself. You may or may not understand the mechanism or “code” that has created your reality as it is, but that never means someone else created it for you. 

In the tech world “WYSIWYG” is an acronym for a type of text editor where you can format the text without needing to know how it works. In other words, WYSIWYG (pronounced wizzy-wig) stands for “What You See Is What You Get,” meaning you can make the text bold or italic or something else even if you don’t know or understand the coding that makes it so. It’s also a great example for how life works, because what you see is always what you get, one way or another.

A few weeks ago, I was at an outdoor concert at the amazing Red Rocks Amphitheater in Morrison, Colorado. I’d been looking forward to this concert for months; it would be the first time I’d ever seen James Taylor live! We found our seats and settled in, next to a small group of 30-something adults. At some point, one of the ladies commented on the hat my companion was wearing, wondering what it was called. It was a fedora, he wore it well, and she was admiring the look. Her guy was wearing a typical baseball cap, and I made a comment to the effect that with the fedora, my fella was the epitome of cool. She made a face and said, “Well, that only works if you’re cool to start with.” Her partner winced a little and shrugged at what seemed to be a common “dig” and we all went back to watching the show. But the lady’s comment made my heart ache because what she sees – a less than cool dude who never quite measures up – is then exactly what she gets. 

Now, they were clearly decent people and obviously there’s a lot more to any relationship than can be seen in 30 seconds, but an old familiar dynamic was there. I caught it because I was that woman for way too many years, always seeing how my partners needed to improve rather than seeing the goodness that was already there. It doesn’t mean that things should have turned out differently, because people grow and change. But the journey could certainly have been less painful, and I’ve worked hard to change the way I perceive everyone, not just those close to me. These days what I choose to see is the coolest cat in town at my side, and that’s exactly what I get because somehow people have a way of living up – or down – to our chosen perceptions. 

There’s someone else in my orbit who perceives life and most everyone in it as out to get him. Nervous and fearful most of the time, he dreads what’s happening in politics, expects sinister repercussions from a stint in the military, worries about neighbors who drive by a little too slowly, is always on the lookout out for bogeymen breaking into the house, and fears the inner demons might somehow take over and turn life upside down. He is constantly exhausted because seeing potential disaster around every corner is an exhausting way to live. 

Instead of buying into my magical thinking that life is easy because I believe it is and see its perfection, he thinks I have some special dispensation from the Cosmos that brings me crazy good luck and makes everything work out. Of course, if I do have such favor, it’s completely self-created. This is the person that stumbles into road rage incidents (which never happen to me), experiences unending body pain and physical problems, and lives a life of little joy and lots of struggle and frustration. It’s hard to let people have their battles when I know life could be so much easier, but what he sees is what he gets. (Although, I think my enchanted life is beginning to illuminate a little bit of magic in his.)

There’s another person I am only acquainted with online, but everything she shares refers to two things: the difficulties of life and a tragedy she experienced more than 20 years ago. It was certainly a horrible experience, the kind of thing that wounds you deeply and breaks your heart. But she’s still “seeing” it every single day, and it is therefore still defining her life. Perhaps moving on seems disrespectful to a precious memory, but when tragedy is what you see, it’s also what you get. 

Another person I know has a malignant little voice inside that’s always sure the boss is someone to fear. Against all logic, they often worry their job isn’t good enough or the boss is going to fire them or at least serve up a generous dose of disapproval. Again, that’s a tough and distressing way to live, and even though the boss is perfectly satisfied with this person’s performance, they still suffer the internal effects of what they choose to see, whether it’s “real” or not. 

I truly understand because I’ve had the same experience way too many times – tiptoeing around, trying to stay small and out of the way, worried about someone’s disapproval, and afraid everything was going to crash down around me at any moment. At some point I realized that my self-perception of “not good enough” was creating exactly what I feared! When I let myself be confident, make decisions, accept feedback, and simply take up space in my world, life and work got smoother, more effective, and a lot happier.

I hear so many people – family, friends, Shaumbra – repeatedly telling stories of past wounds and challenges and bad luck. Of course, the stories that are most fun to tell are the ones full of drama and trauma. They have the most juice, but they’re about the experiences we don’t really want to repeat, so why do we keep telling them? If what we see is what we get, why keep looking at the painful stuff when it’s only going to create more! I’m not saying that old wounds should be ignored. But allowing resolution and integration is a far different choice than rehashing old crap again and again.

The cool thing is that this works both ways! For instance, I know people, including myself, who see life through clear but rose colored glasses. There is a charm, ease, and synchronicity to life that often looks like pure magic. Things flow perfectly in every moment, and if there are times when life doesn’t seem quite right, it turns out perfect anyway. I personally attribute this to my insistence on seeing perfection everywhere. And not only seeing it, but really perceiving and believing it. Sometimes it’s easy, sometimes it takes a remarkable amount of trust. But when that’s the perception I choose, it always, always works out.

For example, a few months ago I wanted to watch the solar eclipse in Texas, so made the flight and lodging reservations. However, I procrastinated on reserving a car, always distracted by a more urgent task. Then one day, with only a week to go, I decided it was time to book the car and promptly discovered that every single rental agency within hundreds of miles of our destination was sold out! Apparently, thousands of people had the same idea: “Let’s go to Texas for the eclipse!” What now? My partner asked, “You say it always works out perfectly, but how is this perfect?” “I don’t know yet,” I answered, “but somehow, it is. Everything is going to work out, I promise.”

I texted our B&B host asking for recommendations, and he suggested looking in nearby cities, but everything was still sold out. Then an idea came, and I sent another message: “Do you know anyone with a second car they’d loan out for a couple days and make an easy $300?” A couple minutes later he replied, “I have a car you could use, let’s talk it over.” Within minutes we were on Facetime working out the details. The perfect solution had suddenly appeared. 

It always, always, always works out perfectly, even when it doesn’t look like it’s going to, because the perfection is there if I choose to see it. Even the weather cooperated! The area was forecast to be cloudy and stormy the entire day of the eclipse. “Don’t worry, we’re going to see it,” I assured my partner. Driving west, watching more and more breaks in the clouds, I looked for the perfection rather than the frustration. We found the perfect place to settle in, laid down on the blanket, and had a perfect view of the eclipse, along with a few wispy clouds to make it even more interesting and beautiful. What I See Is What I Get. Always. 

Now, I admit this way of living requires a lot of trust, but it’s trust in my Self, not some unknown God or impersonal universe. I don’t have to know the coding or how it works; I just have to trust. My life is perfect because that’s how I choose to see it, and therefore it is so. When “bad” things happen, if I continue to trust the inherent perfection, the “bad” changes to “Interesting, I wonder how this will work out.” It’s not about changing or fixing what’s happening, but simply accepting and seeing that what is, is exactly as it should be. 

When I say “see,” obviously it’s not just what you look at with your eyes. It’s more about what you believe and therefore perceive to be true. So perhaps a better way to write it would be “What You Perceive Is What You Get.” WYPIWYG… wippy-wig. Whatever term you use, the most important thing to remember is that the perceiving comes first. I don’t wait until things work out to see the perfection. I acknowledge that it’s already perfect, then watch and see how the perfection unfolds. 

Of course, there are plenty of things in life that don’t seem perfect. If it’s about other people, let it go. That’s not your business. But in your life, you are free to explore any and all perceptions until the perfection becomes apparent. Because the more you see it, the more you get it. 

My world is how I perceive it. Period. Whether good or bad, challenging or easy, lucky or miserable, I always get to choose my perception, and therefore my reality. Maybe from the outside it looks like I live some kind of charmed life, as if I won the lottery of helpful angels and lucky stardust, but really, I won the lottery of my Self. Every game is rigged to win because it’s all in the eye of the beholder and wippy-wig!