Compiled by Carolina Oquendo

Dear Master, I know we’ve talked about expressing myself, that it’s important to get out of the proverbial closet and stop holding back. But to be honest, I don’t feel safe being completely open and sharing my wisdom. There’s still a lingering fear. 

I wish I could suddenly make you feel totally safe, and I wish I could relax your body totally, because your body is so tight because it’s unsafe. I wish I could wave a magic hand and have it so your mind was peaceful, because your mind feels unsafe. I wish I could tell your soul, your divine that it is safe here. It’s safe to come here. But you don’t believe that, so you keep it at bay, a slight distance away. Particularly as you come into your I Am mastery, it’s going to feel even more unsafe in this reality.

So here you are with that passion and desire for enlightenment; here you are, choosing to be an embodied Master, but not feeling safe whatsoever. Big issue.

You’re so used to your mind and its games that you don’t even realize that it’s the very thing that really keeps you from feeling safe. It’s playing the game. 

The mind is the thing that brings in the fears. (…) It’s the thing that most people run from. And in a way you can run from your body, kind of, but you really can’t run very far from your mind. Hell is contained in the mind. Darkness and demons are contained in the mind. They’re not out there; they’re not under your bed. They’re right in here.

You don’t really realize yet the level of unsafety that you operate in. And you’ve managed it. You’ve buttressed yourself. You’ve found survival skills. You’ve found ways to hold all of these unsafe things at bay. But you know and I know that they’re right at the door. They’re right at the door, and so you keep yourself more and more and more restricted. ¹

You know what’s funny? I always thought that I was creating a safe space around me, usually at home or in nature. But it turns out that the unsafety was coming from myself. 

It’s going to be important to have that safe space for yourself, a place within. It’s not a place of thought. In other words, it’s not – “I’m going to the create safe space over here and go there.” The mind actually (…) it’s not programmed for that, because it’s even going to penetrate safe space. 

You’ve tried doing it in dream state, to go off to a safe space, but you’ve found you there. (…) Your aspects have found you. You try to keep it some far-off distant, hidden place. They found you. They’re knocking at the door. Even if you don’t let them in, they know exactly where it’s at. 

You can’t think about it. You can’t say, “Oh, I’m going to find it, I’m going to think about my safe space. I am safe. I am safe.” It doesn’t work. Safety has to be real.

Let’s talk about the real safety. Not the outside world. Let’s talk about you, yourself. You’re not real safe in there. Not a lot of confidence, I guess. Still carrying around a lot of old vows, old guilts, old issues. They’re kind of hardened inside of you, like pillars of a temple. They’ve just become kind of the structure within the consciousness. 

How can you feel safe when you’re still carrying around the past? How can you feel safe when you’re still bringing up things that happened ten years ago, 50 years ago, 5,000 years ago? How can you feel safe when you keep going back to the memories of the past? How can you feel safe when there are those constant reminders, whether it’s from your aspects, from your mind or even from your heart, about what you did wrong – failures, hurts to others, judgments about the way you raised your children, lies that you told to other people because it was more convenient than telling the truth. How can you feel safe when you’re still carrying around those things? It makes the outside world look pretty safe in comparison actually. 

Those are the tapes that play when you’re trying to do something new, creative, fun. But you have these tapes playing from the past – “I failed at this.” 

Well, they were walls and barriers. (…) They were limitations, and when you started first acting like the I Am, like the Master, at a very early age, and all hell broke loose because of it, then you retreated. Partly because, actually, you didn’t want to make them feel unsafe with what they were feeling was odd or an unusual behavior. (…) When you expressed that, it wasn’t very safe.

Now you say, “Well, I don’t remember that happening.” That’s exactly right. You don’t remember, but it happened. You went to such a shut-down, you don’t even necessarily remember an event or the events that happened, but I was there. I saw the shutdown that occurred.

You’ve kind of shut down or created artificial solutions for safety.

It’s not safe in there. Not safe with the mortar and all the bricks of your consciousness with things like guilt and shame, loathing, judgment. And it keeps together a very false house of consciousness. ²

I understand what you say (well, you’ve been drilling it into me for a while now) and the need to open up and release those old “tapes.” But there is still fear or even panic that freezes me in place. I have this visceral feeling that I’m up against a wall where I can’t hold back anymore OR take the next step.

You’re invested in all the bricks and the mortars of your human consciousness. So you just keep adding more bricks and more mortar, hoping that someday this craziness will end. 

What if those walls came down? Even if they come tumbling down, what a tremendous implosion, dust, debris everywhere. But when that dust and debris cleared, there were no more wall, no more prisons, no more fears, no more feeling unsafe. What if beyond these old walls and bricks of consciousness was the true freedom of the I Am, even in an unsafe world, but no longer unsafe within yourself. ³

Interestingly, the fear seems a lot like Gollum from Lord of the Rings, not wanting to let go of his “precious,” kind of obsessively needing it to survive. And I know I can’t fight it (nothing will come out of that), I can’t think about it (the mind is useless here), so the only thing left is being aware of it. But is it enough?

Safety within yourself comes when one forgives themself. 

Forgiveness may be not what you think it is. Forgiveness isn’t saying, “Oh, I did these bad things. Now I let it all go.” No. The dots can’t be connected that way. 

What forgiveness in mastery is, is wisdom.

When there is such a wisdom in you (…) wisdom that you’ve learned from each and every experience; wisdom that you’re not going to be going back into low consciousness, dense consciousness; the wisdom that you are divine; the wisdom that you exist. That’s the core wisdom, which all other wisdoms come from – “I exist.” 

You see, even with the simple “I exist, I Am,” that is an expression of forgiveness. 

“I exist. I Am that I Am.” That is forgiveness. 

That is freeing yourself of the guilt, shame, judgment, criticism. 

“I exist.” That is the forgiveness. 

This isn’t a mental thing. It’s not a ceremony you have to do, sprinkling water over your own head to forgive. Forgiveness is really the wisdom. It’s what sets you free, and the wisdom is “I exist.” 

That’s the safe space. It’s not a little room in a big house. It’s not a little thought that you can run back to and try to repeat to yourself. It’s a feeling. It’s a reality. It’s a knowingness. It’s the safety. 

One cannot feel safe when they are not forgiven within themselves. 

It’s actually tapping into your own wisdom. That’s it. Tapping into the “I exist.” That’s it.

In order to let yourself open, and to let yourself be that embodied Master, you can’t hide. You can’t hold back, because the true mastery, the creativity, the joy is just going to come out. ⁴

It’s not about thinking things through. It’s not about trying to put them into nice, neat little boxes of logic and understanding. (…) it is about pure allowing, opening up. No more barriers. No more defenses. No more trying to protect parts of yourself by holding energies back, because what comes in now is not from the outside. What comes in now is the understanding and the perception of all these parts of yourself. ⁵

Sources:

1. Discovery Series, Shoud 7 ↩︎
2. Discovery Series, Shoud 7 ↩︎
3. Discovery Series, Shoud 7 ↩︎
4. Discovery Series, Shoud 7 ↩︎
5. ALT Series, Shoud 6 ↩︎

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<>12 /18