BEYOND FEAR

By Anna Budzowska

Fears feel terrible as long as we continue to run away from them.

My pattern of escaping seemed to last such a long time that I lost the moment I had started to run. However, I remember the turning point when this ‘eternal escape’ started to become a confrontation with the truth. It happened gradually, grain by grain, until it was a complete transformation, and it all started with a dream.

For a long time I had a recurring dream where I was running away from war. Me hiding in a closet while the city was being bombed just outside the window. Me running away with a group of people who did not want to die, suffer, or starve. Then one night it happened again, but after rehashing these scenarios so many times, in this new dream, my story of escape would end for good. 

In this new dream I was walking along the ocean shore. 

Beneath my feet I see golden sand reflecting in the sun. The water shines with sunbeams, shimmering on the horizon, and every now and then the wind creates mirages in the distant sand, like a mirage in the desert. It is an endless horizon of sand and water. 

In the distance, I see an army appearing like one from Sparta. The enemy troops, wearing silver armor and winged helmets, begin running towards me, long pikes in their hands. I am completely alone and defenseless. 

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My first thought – “Run!”

I turn away from them with the intention of running, my bare feet digging deep into the sand. But something doesn’t feel right. There are so many soldiers, each of them wanting to kill me. It seems to be their eternal mission, but this time I will not run. 

I turn back to them, knowing that no matter what happens, I will not run away from anything anymore. I am no longer afraid of reality, nor its end. I am not afraid of death. I accept everything that comes, without fear. 

The soldiers approach me with spears held high, charging with a war cry of increasing intensity. I stand as if frozen in time. 

When they are just about to touch my body with their blades, they begin to disappear one by one, dissolving into thin air. I watch as their armor becomes transparent, until they are completely invisible. 

The entire armed company disappears from view. In its place is only sand, and the sea calmly bringing more waves to the shore.

Looking around I feel enormous, overwhelming peace, along with absolute certainty that this is the end of all my running away and that in fact, I have always been safe. It was the running away, the constant trying to escape that made me a victim. 

Whoever wants to run away will always find someone to chase them. But it will no longer be me. 

And then I woke up. 

It was one of those dreams that penetrated deeply into my reality, and I awoke full of the energy, as if its essence still had to penetrate this realm. 

Since then, I have not run away from anything or anyone. And I have seen how every change I make, in every moment now, reshapes my reality. There are so many opportunities for escape, of things to escape from, and each one seems so very real. But it is not, unless you choose to run. 

When you stop running, everything that was chasing you stops the harassment, because it is no longer interested in the game you do not want to play. 

Everything is energy. There is nothing that can be taken from you if you understand who you are – a limitless soul and the creator of everything that happens to you. Throughout life, even small fears will attract more fearful situations to you. But no one will want to hurt you if your energy does not contain fear. 

Every doubt creates situations to confirm your doubts. Concerns create things to be concerned about, and so on. 

By stopping the running, we bring into our lives the power to transform ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING. Whoever dares this will experience a depth of peace that nothing and no one can touch. And even if we play the game again for a moment, we will quickly remember that there is no need to run away, for the illusion has already been removed. Then we will return to simply being with everything that comes. 

When we stop running away, fears stop being scary and we can start expressing ourselves in full creativity, for the first time. Because when we do not run away, we are safe. And when we are safe, the real fun of creation begins.