“Love Yourself”
They Said
✨AI Generated
By Nina JF Gauss
Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
Love. The timeless muse of dreams and heartache. Who hasn’t longed for it, chased it, or wept over its fleeting nature? And now, with the grand day of celebrating love behind us, it’s time to peel back the rose-tinted veil and face a sobering truth:
There is no ‘one.’ There are no soulmates, twin-flames, or anyone to fill our empty vessels with unconditional love, no one that comes in for the rescue to save us from our self-created demons.
We are on our own in all of this.
I know – this notion may seem harsh, even cynical, to those who are perpetual dreamers. When Adamus first declared that soulmates do not exist, I flinched. It took time for me to shed that deeply ingrained belief. Yet, as my perspective evolved, I came to see that while certain individuals undeniably play pivotal roles in this grand “Game of Lives,” they are not soulmates or twin flames. What connects us is something far more profound, more beautiful – something beyond the confines of those commercial labels.
✨AI Generated
Many years ago, I found myself standing amid the wreckage of a marriage that had just collapsed around me. Coming out of that train wreck, a book landed in my hands one day: “Love Yourself, and It Doesn’t Matter Who You Marry.”
I remember smirking at the irony. Yet something in those words stirred something within me. I read the book, then read it again. It offered great insights but left one crucial question unanswered:
How do you love yourself?
At the time, well-meaning voices echoed the same phrase: “You just have to love yourself!” But no one could tell me how exactly to do that. Their advice felt more like hollow trendy clichés – “Treat yourself. Buy yourself something nice. Look in the mirror and say, ‘I love you.’” I tried. I really did. I bought myself gifts, which, to be honest was never an issue for me. And when I tried to do the affirmations, it all felt…well… stupid. Contrived. And, in fact, it made me feel even more broken because I failed at the very thing everyone insisted was the ultimate answer.
At some point, I realized that even those dishing out well-meaning platitudes, they themselves didn’t even know how to love themselves.
So, eventually I reverted to old patterns. Seeking love outside myself, I stumbled through some more painful experiences to add to the collection, and this cycle kept replaying. Different masks, same pattern, same heartbreak.
Desperate for answers, I devoured books – self-help, spiritual, psychological – each offering a glimmer of hope, a fleeting fix. But the patterns endured. The disappointment always nigh, and I’m not speaking only of romantic relationships; they include friendships and family relationships as well.
After yet another relationship came crashing down, I stood before my reflection and declared, “Enough!” Vowing not to enter another relationship until I had cracked the mystery of the inner patterns, I went on a mission to find out what it truly meant to love myself.
I didn’t know how I’d do it. I had no road map, no manual – only the intention, raw and resolute. I assumed it might take a year or two tops.
It took fourteen and is still a work in progress.
Over more than a decade, I journeyed into the depths of my being – confronting shadows I once feared and uncovering truths I never expected to find. It wasn’t the path I sought, but it was undoubtedly the path I needed – one for which I am now profoundly grateful.
This descent pulled me deep into the labyrinth of my soul, where I unraveled childhood traumas and reclaimed lost fragments of myself – both from this life and beyond – while at the same time, I immersed myself in the study of attachment theories, the lasting wounds of childhood emotional abuse, and the complexities of personality disorders, eventually even being invited to talk about my insights.
During the Covid lockdowns the process of integration accelerated at breakneck speed and reached new layers. The world outside stood still, while within me, everything was in motion – shifting, cracking, and realigning so rapidly that the only solid ground I could cling to, was the one I found within myself.
My Master-self.
✨AI Generated
You meet people on the same psychological level wound as you. You also leave people when you evolve, and they haven’t been able to.
From that moment on, everything shifted. I walked away from anything that no longer served my expansion, burning bridges without a second thought. It wasn’t the result of careful planning or calculated decisions. Rather, it felt as though life had rearranged itself so profoundly that there was simply no other way forward.
To truly move ahead to the next level of potentials waiting for me, I had to release all those who clung to me only to take, those who were trying to anchor me to a version of myself I had outgrown. It wasn’t about blame, far from it. But when someone not only resists your growth but refuses to grow alongside you, they must be left behind. No apologies. No exceptions.
Of course, what followed was a period of deep isolation and loneliness. I had blown up quite a few bridges after all. At the same time, even though I knew it was both necessary and ultimately for my highest good, my body was in constant, relentless pain. My back gave out, and for nearly a year and a half, I could barely move. With no escape and no distractions, I was forced to sit with myself – on my own, fully, unfiltered, and raw.
But being in it, something new within me sparked to life. Insights about myself emerged from deep within in the silence, new desires, new ideas, and with them, a knowing: it was time to step back into the world. It was time to say “Yes!” to life. It was time to grace the world with my shiny presence, driven by a deep desire to be here, to fully live a fulfilling life with all that it entails.
Bring it on!
And so, it was.
I returned to muggle land, ready to mingle with people again, and steer my ship into a completely new direction. Now, nearly two years later, I can say with certainty that it was the best decision I had made in a long time, even though it was exhausting at times. For the most part, all my body issues vanished. I was back in flow.
Stepping back outside, I realized that wanting connection isn’t a flaw or a weakness; it’s part of what makes us human. I see nothing noble about denying myself the joy of mingling, sharing, and simply being with others. The old days of retreating to monasteries for spiritual growth are behind us. I also treasure my solitude – I need my solitude – but I crave meaningful conversations as much as I cherish my quiet moments.
When I stepped back into the “big world,” I was genuinely surprised by how unusual my interactions with others had become. Something about them was very different. It felt like a complete shift – every encounter seemed to flow effortlessly, marked by mutual respect, appreciation, and ease. Gone were the sharp edges, the power struggles, tension, and others trying to one-up me. Instead, I found myself in open, deep, heartfelt conversations, sharing moments of real connection.
One profound realization emerged through it all: whenever you choose to move toward something you truly desire – relationships being a perfect example – everything that no longer aligns with your desire will surface, demanding to be acknowledged and released. It’s like blowing compressed air through the pipes to wash out debris that had been blocking the flow.
But at the time, new to this experience, I couldn’t help but wonder what was going on. I didn’t even quite trust it. “Ok, where is the other shoe? Where is it hiding? When is it dropping?” But nothing dropped.
On the contrary, I continued crossing paths with the most incredible, kind-hearted souls who filled my heart with a love I hadn’t expected. And then, something even more curious happened: I started falling in love – not with one person, but with several acquaintances at once. It wasn’t romantic in the traditional sense; it was something deeper – a profound appreciation for their being. I found myself loving people!
Completely bewildered by this sudden overflow of affection, I found myself, one night, knocking on the door to Adamus’ private study, asking, “What the hell is going on here? What’s happening to me? What’s wrong with me?”
He just laughed, followed by many nights of deep conversations – exchanges that would unravel the mystery of my heart’s sudden expansion.
I’ll sum up its essence with this quote:
The more in life that you accept yourself, and every part of yourself, you see more people as wonderful, not less.
✨AI Generated
Through all these experiences, I came to realize some profound truths.
Self-love isn’t found in books, affirmations, or through others. It’s found in how you show up for yourself – honoring your desires and needs – not from selfishness, but from the same care you’d give a child you deeply love. It means learning to provide for yourself the love and support you may never have received, even if you’re still figuring out how.
It’s about being okay with not being liked, because self-love requires the courage to walk away from anything that harms you, emotionally or physically. It means holding space for your emotions with compassion, even when others won’t.
But self-love also means confronting your inner demons – not with judgment, but with honesty and grace. It’s recognizing that the toxicity isn’t always “out there.” Sometimes it’s within us, rooted in our wounds and patterns. The answer isn’t blame, but awareness – taking responsibility for your life and your issues.
It’s about boundaries – honouring your own and respecting those of others. And it’s accepting that you won’t be for everyone. If someone dislikes you, let them. It has nothing to do with you.
One of the biggest misconceptions is believing we are always the victim, that life just happens to us. But everyone carries pain, everyone has battles. Acknowledging this doesn’t mean accepting mistreatment; it means trusting that others have their own path to walk, and sometimes, the greatest respect is stepping out of their way.
It’s also about listening – truly listening – not to reply or fix, but to witness another’s story without judgment or interruption. People don’t need unsolicited advice; they need presence. They need to feel heard. Real listening isn’t about solving; it’s about seeing them as they are, without your own agenda or projections.
And finally, it’s about self-forgiveness – for every misstep, every perceived failure – for everything. There are no mistakes, only experiences that shaped the path leading you to this very moment. This moment where you can finally see yourself – all of you: the light, the darkness, the struggle – and embrace it with compassion. In doing so, something beautiful happens: you start seeing others more clearly, and those who truly see you will begin emerging one by one, not for what you can do for them, but simply because they feel safe to be fully themselves in your presence. And that is the greatest honour.
✨AI Generated
Loving Yourself Changes Everything
The moment you truly learn to love yourself – not just your light but embracing your demons too – everything shifts. For me, the most humbling and unexpected transformation was the sudden realization of the love that had always surrounded me. Yet, I had been blind to it, lost within the confines of my own self-judgment, which was then lost in the judgment of others. This realization humbled me to the point it silenced me.
But it was in this silence that I stopped trying to prove myself, stopped jumping through hoops seeking validation from others or walking on eggshells around them. I stopped making a clown of myself for scraps of approval, because I finally saw how self-deprecating that was.
Deep within, I know who I am and understand the value I bring to the world. And it is this certainty that allows me to step deeper into my authenticity. Though my journey of becoming continues to unfold, forever evolving, I now witness first-hand how embracing myself transformed everything around me.
When you meet yourself with full acceptance – with love, compassion, and without all the games and masks – you don’t just see love more clearly.
You become it. You embody it.
And with that… everything changes.
You don’t search for love. You become it.
And you may just find yourself standing in awe, scratching your head, wondering…
How the hell did I get here?
It doesn’t matter.
All that matters is that you did get here.
Thank you Nina, a truly beautiful story of coming into self love ❤️ 😍
Nina I am truly so deeply touched by your story of becoming Love . Wow, so beautifully expressed . Such a rich experience for me to read it and to connect with it. And it feels so true to me. Thank you so very much and lots of Love. !!!
Gracias Nina, me encantó tu artículo y tu arte!!!
How wonderful! Thanks for sharing. I needed it , it’s nice to know that others are also in this beautiful journey.
Nina I am truly so deeply touched by your story of becoming Love . Wow, so beautifully expressed . Such a rich experience for me to read it and to connect with it. And it feels so true to me. Thank you so very much and lots of Love. !!!
Thank you Nina. I appreciate this article. Every sentence spoke to me so clearly. You really have put it into a nutshell.
Now I understand why I have always loved you through your posts on FB! True love for self attracts love. This is one of the most important article I ever read… so many insights: for example your statement ‘’loving oneself is not walking on eggshells with others” (loosely quoted) is so relevant for me after a tragic event devastated my family, driving me to accept unacceptable behaviors… thank you! 💝💝💝
Thank you so much for this Nina. It touched me very very deeply. ❤️❤️
Absolutely wonderful dear Nina!
What touched me most is: “It’s about being okay with not being liked, because self-love requires the courage to walk away from anything that harms you, emotionally or physically”.
This is connected with Adamus-Saint Germain, mentioning Edgar Allen Poe`s raven. NEVER MORE!
Thank you!
Благодарю за синхронистичность! Сейчас проживаю эти осознания в себе. Мой Дракон еще подкидывает образы отвержения своих состояний. С каждым разом я становлюсь более свободной от нелюбви к себе.
Dear Nina, THANK YOU for sharing this. I cried the whole article. ❤️
Thank you for sharing so beautifully. I can relate to many of your experiences. I rejoice and feel strengthened in my self-love.
Thank you for this beautifully written, thought provoking, heartfelt message. I can relate to every paragraph. The Shaumbra family are loving and giving. The world is a better place now that we are actively in it.
Just amazing.
Thank you for sharing your stori. I like it.
beautiful article
Thank you so much for sharing your story! The love that radiates from it is palpable and shines on all of us! Thanks again! ❤
Gracias infinitas querida Nina, un precioso articulo lleno de verdad y honestidad digno de ti. Me ha emocionado saber de ti a traves de tus experiencias siempre han sido valiosas para mi
Спасибо Дорогая Нина за прекрасную историю, настоящего Мастера ♠️🪷✨❤️
Обнимаю тебя 🩷
Я читала, дышала каждым предложением, видела сквозь слова, улыбалась, Знала, …. история становления Мастером Новой Любви!
Да,…. я могу сказать что эти истории также и про меня и моём становлении Настоящей Любовью, которая дарит Мне так много мудрости и красоты, излучается в Мир и привлекает людей, с которыми происходит волшебство настоящего, искреннего общения, наполненного просто Признанием, что Мы Здесь ♠️, уважением, красотой и лёгкостью….
И…. Это разворачивается и разворачивается….🪷🙏❤️
Beautiful, profound, wise, inspiring. Thank you Nina
Thank you so much dear Nina for putting so much wisdom into a short text and sharing it. I am so grateful for people like you who can put into words so well what moves us all and lies dormant in us. Thanks to such stories, paradise on earth is created. But someone has to write it down and share it so that it becomes true and real for all of us!!!
Being masterful in service is a dog’s job, but someone has got to do it.😂🤣
Spot on Nina. Thank you for sharing. xx
Beautiful article that so accurately and eloquently depicts a journey into Love 2.0.
Thank you so much for sharing your gift, and helping to enlighten consciousness on what
loving yourself looks like, and the journey that it can take to get there.
Your words really touched me, and have helped clarify some points, such as how to
gracefully let go of people and circumstances that no longer serve us.
Blessings to you 🙂
Thank you, Nina, for your beautifully written and open sharing. That’s the same question I have been asking myself.
Thank you, Nina, for your beautifully written and open sharing. That’s the same question I have been asking myself.
wunderschön, danke dass Sie Ihre Weisheit mit uns geteilt haben.
Thank you Precious Soul, I’m very grateful for this article and I’ll return to it whenever I doubt myself. From my Heart to yours, Blessings, Love and ros
Thank you Precious Soul, I’m very grateful for this article and I’ll return to it whenever I doubt myself. From my Heart to yours, Blessings, Love and Light
Thank you Nina, I really relate to your story, I’m pleased when you speak about spiritual monastery I tend to be old sage on the top of the mountain kind of person even though I continue to have some interaction in the muggle world.
Occasionally I have this incredible burst of love for every people I meet on my way. For me this is the ultimate human experience I just can’t explain it just live it.
Your article gives me a better chance to put my experiences in perspective.
Thank”s so much
Ramsha
Lieve Nina, vanuit mens zijn zo bezield jouw beleving van groeien naar zelfliefde omschreven. Zo intens, krachtig en prachtig, waardoor het met gemak bij me binnenkomt.
Super veel dank voor de herinnering en herkenning. Het raakt de wijsheid van de Meester in mij. Hartegroet 💚 Gemma
Dankjewel Nina, zo prachtig geschreven en zo inspirerend. Alle liefs, Sjef
Love this Nina. Thanks so much. It is my aspiration to shed the old stories, and I too am a work in progress. Some good days, some not so good. Slowly peeling off one sticky layer after another. “Ouch!” That hurts sometimes. But with a single minded intention that leaves me with no other choice.!!!
I am always reminded of the poet Yeats “Man must have reckless courage to descend into the abyss of self……”
When you spend time in the funny farm, you do wonder if you will emerge intact. Oftimes, it seems like touch and go. And for sure, Allowing will help. Allowing yourself to receive the entirety of who you are…..being the desired outcome……
Breakdowns are really breakthroughs aren’t they,and once you have enlisted the help of the Dragon, it is a question of releasing those attachments that will never take you back to who you truly are…….though they will show you how stubborn thy can be,and do take some releasing in my experience. To witness the collapse of your own mental construct takes self acceptance and dedication. And usually comes in short sharp bursts. And eventually you do not need to choose between fear or love. Cos love wins every time…..Neither born,nor died. Just I am that I am. What a sacred journey we are on.
Liebe Nina, vielen Dank für deinen Artikel. Ich habe auch viele Brücken abgebrochen. Und manchmal erwische ich mich noch dabei, es vor mir selbst zu rechtfertigen. Weil ich zweifle, ob es richtig ist, oder ob ich einfach nur sozial unfähig bin. Aber tief in meinem Inneren weiß ich, dass etwas mit mir passiert ist, ich konnte es nur nicht richtig „greifen“. Auf manche Menschen mag ich vielleicht kühl oder arrogant wirken, weil ich mich nicht mit ihnen abgebe. Aber in Wahrheit tue ich es aus Respekt vor ihrem Weg und ihren Erfahrungen. Ich erkenne mich in vielem wieder was du schreibst. Vielen Dank für das Teilen!
Thank you. Beautiful insights.
Thank you all for your beautiful comments! I deeply appreciate the response. ❤️
Thank you Nina this is beautiful 🩵
Nina,
I concur. this is the best description of how to love yourself that I have ever crossed paths with.
So many people would benefit from your lived experience. I certainly did.
Thank you.
Thank you – exactly what I needed to hear right now! 💙