✨AI Generated
is my body betraying me?
By Carolina Oquendo
THE HUMAN
I looked at the test, not believing what I was seeing: I’m pregnant?
It wasn’t a joyful moment. It was a jolt—unwanted, unexpected, and terrifying. I remember standing in the bathroom, staring at nothing, thinking, “This can’t be happening.” What I feared most was that my body had made a choice without me.
But it hadn’t. Not in that way.
What was actually happening, I found out, was the onset of early menopause.
I received the diagnosis with relief, confusion, and a strange ache I couldn’t name. And that’s when the war began—not with a child I didn’t have, but with a body I no longer understood.
I tried everything to stop it. To reverse it. To delay the tide. My supplements became rituals. My choices became negotiations. My inner voice—at least the one I could hear—sounded increasingly panicked: “Do something. Fix this. Don’t let this be the end.”
But nothing worked. The symptoms moved forward, unbothered by my strategies. My body, it seemed, had stopped asking for permission.
I felt betrayed by my own skin.
I wanted my body to cooperate, to bounce back, to keep up.
I didn’t want hot flashes at 2 a.m., or the weight that crept in and refused to leave.
I didn’t want to open my closet and wonder what still fit.
I didn’t want to feel invisible—or worse, dismissed.
I wanted to feel desirable again. In control. Like myself.
But the truth was, I didn’t even know what “myself” meant anymore.
Defeated, I finally walked into the doctor’s office. I wasn’t seeking miracles. Just something to make it bearable.
“I’m still sweating through the night,” I told him. “I can’t sleep. My hands hurt. I’m gaining weight for no reason. I feel like a stranger in my own skin.”
The doctor didn’t even look up from his tablet.
“Yep. It’s just part of getting older,” he said flatly. “You’ll have to learn to cope. And while you are at it, do whatever it takes to lose that weight.”
Cope.
I walked out of that sterile room numb, hollowed out by that single word. Cope. As if all I could do now was endure the slow disintegration of everything I once loved about being in a body.
And then I felt something—a strange pull, like someone was watching me. Not invasive, just… unmistakably present. A quiet gaze brushing against my skin, asking to be met.
And there, in the waiting room, someone was sitting – legs crossed, calm, grounded, unmissable, not the doctor, not a nurse – the Master.
I didn’t recognize the Master at first. But my body just moved towards… him? Her? I didn’t know anymore.
THE MASTER
I had been waiting for a while. I wasn’t sure she would see me today.
She didn’t know it yet, but she had just crossed a threshold. Not the kind marked by rituals or declarations. The quieter kind. The one where something old simply… stops holding.
When she finally looked up and our eyes met, she looked a little startled.
Relieved, maybe.
Like somewhere deep down, she knew I was the one she needed to talk to.
She sat beside me, a residue of disappointment still clinging to her skin.
And I waited.
Masters do that.
Finally, she said: “It’s not working anymore. I’ve lost control.”
“Good,” I answered. “That means the story is finally done pretending to be the truth.”
“As a matter of fact,” I continued, “you never had control. You had conditioning. What’s dying isn’t your youth—it’s the illusion that your worth was ever tied to it.”
She blinked. I saw her scan for logic, for an angle to fix it.
And then she whispered: “So, what? I just give up? Let my body crumble and hope for the best?”
I smiled.
“You stop doing.
You allow.
You stop trying to reverse what was never wrong.
You let the rewiring complete itself.”
She looked at me, eyes searching, trying to grasp the meaning—but it hovered just out of reach. “But I feel like I’m falling apart,” she said at last, the words landing like a confession.
“No, love. You’re not falling apart—you’re breaking free.
Your body isn’t the problem. It didn’t betray you.
The real betrayal was believing it had to earn your love in the first place.”
She was silent, so I kept going.
“You keep trying to go back, to restore a version of you that was never really yours. But this body—this wise, changing, rhythmic body—it’s not ending. It’s arriving.”
She looked down at her hands, as if seeing the weight of all the versions she had once tried to shape.
And for a long time, we just stayed there—breathing, feeling, in presence.
“I have to stop trying to come back to the only version of her I thought was lovable,” she finally said.
I stayed silent, letting her feel deeply into her body—unfiltered, undenied. Then she continued:
“I need to let my body be the expression of my essence, not the evidence of my worth. It was never meant to be my currency in the world. Not my proof. And definitely not a project.”
I took a deep breath and added softly, as Master to human:
“Your body didn’t betray you. She’s just no longer willing to shrink herself for the illusion of safety. She’s ready to carry your full light now. Can you let her?”
I said nothing more. The space between us held everything.
She closed her eyes, and a few quiet tears slipped down her cheeks.
Not of sorrow—but of recognition.
Of finally understanding what had always been true.
And when she stood up to leave, there was no revelation.
Just a quiet steadiness in her step.
Not lighter. Not freer. Just… hers.
And that was enough.
The words of the Master in this story are based on Adamus’ channels from:
Masters Series – Shoud 7
NEXT Series – Shoud 7
E2012 Series – Shoud 10
Freedom Series – Shoud 10
I love how the ascended masters are renaming metapause, hahaha, look how I spelt it, well that says everything….. my master always corrects my words before I speak them. Love
danke- so gut- so lustig- so wahr :-))
Thank you Carolina, just a very good nudge for me , a very good insight and something to remember.
Much Love !
“when my heart beats stronger for what is experienced, it is as the lighthouse signal has been received fully, and I AM effortlessly having the experience of the writer”
Your gift, understanding that the fullness of what has been offered ,
seamlessly alters and expands the heart of another is magical use of your life. Thank you Carolina
so good and so very usable, lots of Love, thank you Carolina 🙂
❤️❤️❤️
As women, we struggle with our bodies because we learned to see ourselves through others. Today, in my old age, I have struggled with this same struggle until I learned to embrace this emotion. Even though the world changes around me, my essence remains. I need nothing more than my own presence to sustain me.
In that presence, my soul sustains me like the ocean sustains the fish that swim in its depths: not too noticeable, but always there, always giving it space to move and be. When I feel fragile, instead of looking outside, I return to that silent embrace: I close my eyes, feel my breath, and allow my soul to caress me with its unconditional tenderness.
Thank you Carolina, a helpfull insight. You are like AI, reflecting my consciousness!
Thankyou Carolina. So relatable, & helpful
With gratitude x