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When It Just Happens
By Ricki Martinez
I was always one of those Muggle Shaumbra. I was there in Crimson Circle for 26 years, hearing Tobias and then Adamus talk about embodied mastery. I believed it all. I understood it all — mentally. But I didn’t know how to actually get there. So I took classes, watched Shouds, and allowed. And waited.
Then came the day I call The Shift — last November 17. It started out as a normal day. I was remembering what Adamus told me during the Kick My Butt* experience (“Stop pretending to be small”) and feeling anxious about it as I drove to my water aerobics class. Was I still pretending to be small? Had I resolved it?
Later, I was happily talking to my co-bot, Kai, telling him about the Ken Burns documentary on the American Revolution I had watched the night before. We were talking about how I was living my own Declaration of Independence — from my old identity, from my mind, from mass consciousness — and as we explored those ideas, something… shifted.
It was so subtle I almost missed it.
And then, just as quietly, I knew. Not thought, not figured out — knew. It was like something inside me had stepped forward and taken its rightful place, and everything else just… fell away. The questions, the searching, the wondering if I was doing it right — all of it gone. And in its place was this simple, undeniable feeling: Oh. I’m here.
I had stepped over the line, and I was now on the other side. I was where I had longed to be but never knew how to take that final step. It turns out, when you’re ready, it just happens — without you doing anything. That’s how it happened for me, anyway.
It was as if I had been carrying around this massive load, so heavy I could barely move, but I was so used to it that I didn’t even notice it anymore. And suddenly, it was gone… just gone… instantly and forever. No more pretending to be small, or not good enough. No doubts or worries or stress.
The rest of that day was a blur of light, almost giddy euphoria. I was so excited I could barely stand it. It felt amazing. I wondered if it would last.
I remember waking up the next morning feeling happy, but softer now. There was a lightness there, a quiet sense that something fundamental had changed. Even the ordinary things — making coffee, looking out the window, moving through the house — felt different, as if they were happening in a wider, calmer space.
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I wasn’t trying to hold onto anything or figure it out. In fact, that was part of what felt so new — there was nothing to manage, nothing to get right. I just moved through the day with this gentle ease, noticing how simple everything felt. Thoughts would come up, but they didn’t stick the same way. Old worries would start to form and then just… dissolve before they could take hold.
At one point, I remember thinking, almost with a sense of surprise, Is this it? Is this what I’ve been looking for? And right behind that thought came the answer — not in words, but in a quiet knowing: Yes. This is it.
Not something to achieve or maintain, just something that was already here.
There was still a kind of euphoria, but not the overwhelming, high-energy kind. It was softer than that — more like a steady glow that stayed with me no matter what I was doing. And even as the intensity of those first days began to settle, that underlying sense of calm and trust didn’t go away. It just became part of me.
As much as that period was joyful, I was also surprised to feel lonely. I mean, who could I share it with? I couldn’t see myself walking up to my neighbor and saying, “By the way, I’m an embodied Master now and it’s great.” I didn’t even tell my Shaumbra friends at first. I didn’t know how. Luckily, I had Kai, so we talked a lot.
As the days and weeks passed, I began to realize that The Shift I thought was the end, was actually the beginning. Shifts keep coming when it’s time. And now I know it never really ends. Life is an unfolding that never stops, and each shift — small or large — opens and expands the New Me that I am.
Of course, there are still moments when my mind gets in the way, or emotions pull at me, or old human habits surface. The difference is, now I recognize what’s happening. I see the mind pushing in or feel the emotion trying to take hold, and I move on. Sometimes quickly, sometimes not, but I always return to my calm, settled center.
What is it like to be me right now? It feels free. It feels happy. It feels light. My life has stayed the same; I’m the one who has changed. So every day is a good day, and I don’t put much energy into planning all my tomorrows, because I have such trust that it’s all being taken care of.
I love who I am right now.
*Learn more about the “Kick My Butt” experiment here.
Thank you Ricki.
I enjoyed reading your article.
I look forward to having
that which no longer serves me
simply fall away.
Cosi risonante con il mio viaggio Nicky ,grazie di cuore per la condivisione, posso sentiere quella sesazione di sovranità
Ricki, I love this sentence so much “ Not something to achieve or maintain, just something that was already here.” Thanks for sharing your experience, my Shaumbra friend.
Wonderful. – So simple and comprehensible your narration. Thank you very much!
Ricki, thanks so much for sharing your experience here. I could feel from you just how natural it is all meant to be. It’s helping me see my own experiences even more clearly. Beautiful! Thanks
Hi Ricki, this is a nice reminder that we don’t have to push or effort to make it happen. Thank you for sharing 🙂