SHAUMBRA HEARTBEAT
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Just in Case:
A Keeper Retires
By Jean Tinder
Iโm often amazed at the way personal experiences and transformations mirror much larger shifts in consciousness. โAs above, so belowโ isnโt just an old saying; sometimes itโs astonishingly literal. Right now, both personally and globally, old familiar roles and patterns are falling away โ sometimes at breakneck speed.
During the recent Shoud, when Adamus talked about our performances โ the acts of consciousness weโve lived in for so long that theyโve become our identities โ it wasnโt hard to see my own. One of the biggest roles Iโve taken on โ whether in my biological family or my Shaumbra family โ has been โmama,โ the one who remembers what everyone needs, where everything is, can somehow produce just the right thing at just the right time, and keeps everything running. Itโs not that others need or even want a mama; itโs that I’ve gotten very good at playing that role. A big part of it is being a Keeper โ a keeper of potentials, possibilities, information, and memories. If you canโt find what youโre looking for, just ask mom. She always knows!
The role has served me well, both in running a family and as a content manager. But then Adamus keeps repeating โDrop the performance and just enjoy life!โ It sounds easy, but no matter how much gets done, thereโs always something more that postpones the life I keep meaning to live. Relax and enjoy life? Thatโs for everybody else; Iโll rest when I die. (Ermโฆ looking at you, boss. ๐ค ) Itโs easy to justify extreme busyness when it feels like the whole world needs what youโre working on! But, ever so slowly, Iโve been releasing some of that โmomagerโ (mom/manager) stuff and leaning into the joy of simply relishing life and a job I enjoy.
Funny enough, the more Iโve learned to rest and relax on a regular basis, the more balanced my life has become and the more efficient my work seems to be. How is that possible? How do you accomplish more by doing less? Hmm, maybe the performance of being overwhelmingly busy takes more energy than simply doing whatโs needed. But then, things got a little weird.
A couple of days after the Shoud, I noticed a feeling of extreme agitation coming up. Work was mostly done for the day, but instead of relaxing, I literally felt like crawling out of my skin. But why? Was there some important task Iโd forgotten? Some impending shift rushing in to blindside me? Was it the storm outside? Maybe the upcoming wedding? (My sweet daughter got married here a few days ago.) Having a hard time with just โallowing the feelingโ without understanding it, I went to the little pack of cards I keep for the moments when itโs hard to hear myself clearly.
Self, what the heck is going on? I asked, shuffling the simple images. Then I pulled one โ Snake. Hmm, was I telling myself to slither around for a while? Was my kundalini rising? Was some big transformation looming โ yet again? Then it hit me: snakes periodically shed their skin. Iโm molting! The physical discomfort and energetic itchiness werenโt a problem to solve. Something old simply wasnโt fitting anymore. That one little realization changed everything, and yes, the squirmy feeling of โEww, get it off me!โ made perfect sense.
I sat there for a moment, wondering what molting might actually look like in real life, when I found myself staring at a small door. My office has an odd storage space tucked into a wall under the roof, and a lot of random stuff has been crammed in there over the years. The knowing was instant โ that is where it starts! So, I pulled everything out of the space, sorting through things that had been hidden for more than 17 years โ old Crimson Circle workshop CDs, books, shipping stuff, even random supplies from when the CC office was at Lake Tahoe. Geez, selfโฆ hold energy much?
It was like undoing the first button of a very tight old suit. Energy started moving and nothing was going to stop it. I spent the rest of the evening โ and every available evening since then โ emptying cupboards, closets, drawers, and boxes. Out went bins of fabric scraps from decades ago. Never-worn clothes that might fitโฆ someday. Duplicate household gadgets because who knows when Iโll need a spare. Knickknacks and mementos from chapters of life long gone. Even crates of other peopleโs stuff Iโve been storing to help them out. Boxes of music CDs had to go, the soundtrack of my life, each embedded with precious memories. But who even has a CD player these days, let alone the time to play through them all?
Clearly, the time had come for a massive letting go. But honestly, it felt more like releasing a helium balloon than setting down an armload of heavy bricks. All this stuff โ my energy stuck in solid form โ it wants to be free! I can hardly keep up with the impulses to purge, the garage is clogged with old belongings, and yes, a yard sale is happening this very weekend.
I must be clear, though: this is not about rejecting the past but rather loving it and setting it free. Part of that love turned up in the box of CDs. When I was pregnant with my daughter 24 years ago, a particular song became my lifeline, and I played it on repeat for months before and after her birth. Now it was time to share the wonder. The next time she came over to discuss wedding logistics and do laundry, I told her the story of the song and played it for her. She felt the connection, even though she didnโt really remember the music. And somewhere inside I felt a passing of the torch, the completion of an agreement, and another very deep release.
A few days later, I witnessed her splendor as a beautiful independent woman celebrating life with a partner 52 years her senior โ and somehow, a perfect match. Yes, an important part of the molting process is letting go of the future youโve imagined for other people, especially the ones you love.
With family gathered for the celebration and Adamusโ admonition about performance fresh in my mind, I was acutely aware of finally releasing the old โmomagerโ role โ mom managing everything for everyone. It was a gentle curtain call of a lifetimes-long performance in which Iโd played the same role so thoroughly that nothing else even felt possible. But as I release the role โ the planning, the holding, the keeping things for someday, just in case โ wondrous new potentials suddenly feel more possible!
Well, the molting has continued, and the other night I discovered just how thorough it is.
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Iโve always had a โbox fetish,โ keeping a collection of cute, pretty, or practical little boxes for whenever they might come in handy. Many are the times Iโve raided the stash to produce the perfect container at just the right moment. So, after emptying out the rest of the closet, I sat down with my ginormous bag of little boxes to sort through and let some of them go. But after a minute or two, I stopped, stared at the heap, put everything back in the bag โ and carried the whole thing out to the garage. It all has to go! Apparently, Iโm done storing little containers for โjust in case.โ
After an entire lifetime of saving little boxes, they practically floated out the door, as if the gravity holding them justโฆ disappeared. Just the same, after lifetimes of exemplary service, the Keeper โ of objects, memories, possibilities, and provisions โ hasnโt failed. Sheโs simply a costume Iโve outgrown. Because I no longer need to contain, preserve, categorize, and prepare for every possible scenario.
This journey of becoming has so many layers. Iโve released so much, gained so much, embodied so much โ all while my closets slowly filled and a bag full of empty boxes sat waiting, just in case. Nothing changes overnight, but when youโre finally ready, the whole thing just might drift out the door when you least expect โ identity and all. And what remains is space for new potentials, new possibilities, and new experiences. One day, this house thatโs seen so much love, transformation, joy, tears, frustration, and celebration, is going to belong to someone else. I can feel a new home calling me from somewhere, a new future beginning to peek around the corner. Will it happen a year from now? Three years? Five? It doesnโt matter, but I know itโs coming. I feel the winds of change, so now is the time to let aerotheon lift away everything I no longer need โ roles, identities, other peopleโs stuff, memories, problems, and even solutions. None of it has been wrong; I just donโt need to play that role anymore.
And this is what I see happening globally as well. Itโs like we, Shaumbra, have carried the Atlantean Dream on behalf of humanity for eons. We kept the flame alive, held the potentials, carried the wisdom, stored the secrets, and stayed strong through the weariness. Itโs been an extraordinary performance. But our role is complete, our purpose fulfilled, and itโs time to let go and live. Humanityโs garage is getting clogged and messy as all the old junk comes out from where it was hidden. The chaos is painful but necessary, for a whole new home awaits us after the purge.
Perhaps this is why Adamus is so insistent that itโs time to enjoy life! Weโre no longer here to keep the memories alive or manage the issues or maintain the old roles. Weโre here simply to LIVE. But itโs hard to be curious and explore the new if Iโm dragging a wagonload of old costumes. Aerotheon to the rescue โ if I just loosen my grasp and let go.
Can I stop storing energy in all its forms โ objects, memories, identities, habits, supplies, tools, extra everything โ and trust that it will continue to serve me in grace and freedom? Why yes. Yes, I can.
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When I realized with shock that ALL the little boxes were leaving after collecting them for decades, my next thought was Who IS this? I hardly recognize myself! For a long time, Iโve been trying to become more โmyself,โ and that was important. Most of us first learned to be the person others wanted, so becoming our authentic selves is vital. But at some point, even that changes. Because the REAL me exists beyond it all. Like an actor who never took off the costume, Iโd forgotten what I look like under all the makeup and habits and stories and belongings and memories.
But Iโm finally beginning to remember.
P.S. The most surprising thing? How easy it can be. A lot of feelings, but no grief. No struggle. Just gratitude and curiosity.
Wow ! Jean, so amazing all your words! I did the same last month, but for me it was with a grief and pain . I feel the urge for a new house, smaller, with new porentials and more joy! And i am sure all we want exist and are waiting for us! Thank you so much !๐๐คฉ๐
ะะพัะพะณะฐั ะะถะธะฝ! ะะฐัะฐ ััะฐััั ะผะฝะต ะฟัะพััะพ ะฝะตะฑั ะพะดะธะผะฐ. ะะฝะฐ ะฝะฐััะพะปัะบะพ ะฒัะตะพะฑัะตะผะปะตััะฐั ะธ ัะตะทะพะฝะธััััะฐั. ะะปะฐะณะพะดะฐัั ะฒะฐั ะฒัะตะผ ัะตัะดัะตะผ ั ะฟะพะถะตะปะฐะฝะธะผ ะปะตะณะบะพััะธ ะธ ะพะณัะพะผะฝัั ััะฟะตั ะพะฒ ะฒ ะดะฐะปัะฝะตะนัะตะน ะถะธะทะฝะธ
Thank you very much for sharing this!๐At that specific live with the identities and roles I resonated so much with the moma role! And now you help me see more clear what skin more I need to molting!
I really appreciate it! ๐๐น๐
KรSZรNรM!
Beautiful! From reading this, I can clearly see that there are a few areas in my home that need this clearing out process and letting go of identity that goes with it.
Thank you again dear Jean
You are always so appropriate and fitting with my own experience almost every time you write and article.
I love to read your true experience of life
Thanks and take good care of you
YOU ARE GREAT
Thank you, Jean, I deeply resonate with your article, your words are always inspiring ๐๐๐
Once again, Jean, your words have resonated deeply with me–holding up a mirror for letting go of the “momager” and Keeper roles. Thanks for sharing your journey and the wisdom you are distilling along the way!
The story you created with your words really spoke to me. Thank you for this. Once again.
Thank you so much Jean, and when I realized the coherence of your article, it’s just stunningโฃ๏ธ
Thank you Jean, another inspiring article I can really relate to! ๐
Awesome! Just reading your story makes me feel so much lighter and makes me laughโjust the thought of letting go of my own clutter feels so liberating. Thank you, Jean!
Oh, so itโs a thing now? I was silly thinking it was just me ๐
Thank you๐๐ฉท
Many carloads of donations have made their way to the re-sale or charity shops since my husband passed last year. I was an invention concreated through our 26 year marriage and I sorely needed change. Still working on it, but intent on making way for the cleared person I hope to become. Thank you Jean!
Dear Jean
Thank you soooo much.
This is very helpful for me.
It is always hard for me to let go things gifts from my daughter…….those gifts I don’t use…..because an emotional story.
I believe that when I let go a gift from her…..I ‘ll loose a part of her.
Thank you Jean. What you shared is all so relatable. One day, I know in my heart, the story will be told. Thank you!
Same here Jean! It feels good to be Shaumbra! We’re helping to release and declutter! New homes are on the horizon indeed! Good luck everyone!๐ฅณ๐๐พ๐
Wow Jean. This spoke to me! Thank you.
Thank you ๐๐พ๐๐พ๐๐พ
Thank you Jean !, love your article, very inspiring .
Ha ha I can sure relate Jean… even about the boxes lol. But like you, I’ve been decluttering (even Tobias CDs), deep cleaning, garage and garden shed allowing for the “next” space to appear… But then I’ll still have to get rid of about 75%. I always remember Kuthumi telling us to hold it in our hearts not our hands!
“Hold it in my heart not my hands”…..wow!!!
This helps me now a lot. What a great reminder.
Thank you.
Blessings
Beate/Austriaโบ๏ธโค๏ธ
Thank you. ๐
Beautiful article!
Thank you, Dear Jean for sharing ๐๐โ ๏ธ๐ฉท๐ถ
The same ๐ฏ, the same ๐ฏ…. The same โบ๏ธโ ๏ธ๐๐๐ฆ
Great, great, thank you for the mirror!!!