Memoirs of a Born-Again Shaumbra
Artwork by Marc Ritter
By Joep Claessens
“You are on the planet right now to enjoy life for yourself, to show others that life can be joyful and loving, and you are there on Earth right now for any human who should want to hear more.”
Words spoken by Tobias in April 2008 that spoke to my heart. Yes! Sign me up, I remember thinking. For years these words, rewritten in the first person singular, graced my Facebook profile, thinking that would help make them come true somehow. It didn’t. I never really felt I was able to live up to that motto, despite all the ‘aspects’ I integrated over the years, not to mention practicing Aliyah until the cows came home, which is supposed to bring back the joy in life, as Tobias insisted. Well, no cow ever showed up on my doorstep. So at some point I let go of it all and chopped up all the carrots the spooks kept dangling in front of us and made carrot cake. That’s when things finally began to change.
But before we get to the good part, let’s back up a bit to February of this year, when Geoff’s Realm Workers article appeared in the Shaumbra Magazine. Reading the article was my come-to-Jesus moment, as the saying goes. And then there was the more recent ‘The Realm Workers – Call to Return’ channel in which Adamus elaborated on the topic.
Especially reading Geoff’s article hit me like a ton of bricks. It was like I had been stumbling around in the dark all of my life and someone all of a sudden turned the light on. So many things in my life made sense all of a sudden, things I struggled with, that I’ve been wondering about all of my life. My perspective on who I was and what I had been doing all of my life changed completely in that moment.
It made perfect sense now that the practice of Aliyah wasn’t for me, for it requires you to be present. The practice will reinforce that and anchor you more and more in your physical body. The reason that so many people feel a resistance to the practice – they don’t really want to be in their body; too many painful or even traumatic memories stored there! In my case, it would have rendered me useless as a Realm Worker, becoming too grounded in this reality. If only I had known, it would have saved me a lot of frustration back then!
Of all the personal characteristics Adamus gave of what he called a Realm Worker, I could check off almost all of them: living a very quiet life; needing lots and lots of alone time; sleep, naps and daydreaming being favorite pastimes; introverted, contemplative; not that interested in family, career or social activities; sensitive to the harshness of the 3D world; an avid reader; lover of a good hike in nature; too much talent, that I could never find a way to express; and totally clueless about what I was doing on Earth and what the point was of me being here (except that I was getting ready to leave for good, that is; that one I figured out at least, thanks to Adamus).
Let me elaborate, so you get the picture.
I come from a line of nappers (or should I say space cadets?). My paternal grandfather, no matter how many of his twelve kids and countless grandchildren visited him and my dear grandmother on those lazy Sunday afternoons, him sitting in his easy chair in the midst of it all, when he got fed up with it all would turn off his hearing aid, close his eyes and be gone, oblivious to the ruckus around him. Then there was my dad, who was infamous for being able to nap at any time of day, in any position – lying down, sitting or standing. He worked a short stint as a coal miner before he started his own business, and when they had their break he would be sitting at the table, put his head down on his arms and take a nap there and then.
So I guess I was destined to follow in their footsteps. I remember one day as a university student in the early eighties, I came home after a long and grueling day of classes and laid down to take a nap at five in the afternoon only to wake up at nine in the morning the next day. That must have been our Realm Workers bootcamp for all I know. For I woke up exhausted, turned over and nodded off again until noon to finally get some rest.
More recently, during the COVID-pandemic, I set a new personal record with three naps in one day: one after breakfast, one after lunch and one after dinner! Only to follow-up with a good night’s eight hour sleep. That’s when we must’ve been putting the finishing touches on one thing or another in the other realms, for sure.
The pandemic was a blessing in disguise for Realm Workers, of course. There were lockdowns, social distancing, masking up, working from home – an introverts’ wet dream come true! I like to call the pandemic ‘The Revenge of the Introverts’ (except for the casualties, of course, those were not our doing.) The world finally marched to our beat for a change. Instead of us having to force ourselves to live the extraverts’ way, they had to live by ours for a while. Not to mention that it freed us up to do the final preparations for Heaven’s Cross as Realm Workers.
Another thing I had going on, going back to my childhood, was that at times I simply wasn’t present in my body, even during waking hours. This happened on and off and usually went on for a few days before I showed up again. I’d walk around, but there was no one there to answer the phone. It was hard on my partners, the two that I was in a long-term relationship with. Both of them took it rather personal and didn’t take kindly to it. After having taken the Sexual Energies School, it made me feel guilty, wondering if it was some kind of energy feeding game, making them chase after me. Still, it was what I did. Now I know why. But I didn’t know that at the time. Honey, I’m off to work, is what I should have told them. I’m building a bridge to heaven. Don’t wait up for me!
Then the solitude, the joy of being alone. I have always been very happy with my own company, even as a kid. I would trade off spending time with my neighborhood friends out on the street with lots of alone time at home, reading a book or just daydreaming. My mom worried about me, as I was such a shy and socially awkward kid. In my teens when other kids started going out, I just stayed in my room with my music, my books and my little b&w tv. When I was younger it never bothered me. It was just what I did. Only later on did I start wondering about it; was something wrong with me?
For the longest time I envied other people that seemed so much more present. They had purpose, something in their life into which they could channel their energy. I tried to find something like that. As a kid I told my mom once that I wanted to be a dancer. That came totally out of nowhere, as I didn’t know anyone who was a dancer nor danced in any capacity myself at that point. It wasn’t until I went to university that I started dancing myself, but only for fun and self-expression. I still do to this day and it’s definitely been a lifesaver for this Realm Worker. The perfect way to keep my energy moving and get out of my head!
Also, there always was music in my life, trying my hand at different instruments, listening to music a lot, and later on singing, using my voice. All the teachers I worked with told me I had talent, but I never was able to turn it into something lasting.
An astrologer once told me, based on my chart, that I would make a great therapist. Something I pursued too, but to no avail. In the end I always knew instinctively that it wasn’t meant to be, at least not as a career. I didn’t understand why. And I most certainly didn’t have a clue about what then to do with my life.
When I started working, my career was pretty much non-existent. I turned down promotions, simply because I wasn’t interested in the working hours and pressure that came with the positions offered. I always felt like what I did was below what I was capable of, but I simply wasn’t interested in making the effort to strive for something more challenging, something that put to use what I knew I was capable of.
Then there was my biological family. I never was much of a family man. I always felt like the cuckoo’s young in my own family – dropped in a random nest among strangers that didn’t look or feel anything like me. When I started my own family, I went to live on my own again after ten years of marriage and we turned our relationship into a Living Apart Together one. Our kids stayed with me half of the week and with their mother the other half and the weekends we would spend together. That was a lifesaver at that point when my realm work really started ramping up in the early nineties. At the time I only worked four days a week, had every Friday all to myself and spent the weekends with my wife and kids.
I don’t regret starting a family, having kids and working a 3D job. It was what kept me anchored in this reality, kept me grounded and brought me joy in many ways too. But it sure was hard at times, navigating my personal journey of awakening while trying to live a ‘normal life.’
The only snag was that this time around I didn’t come into this world to have a normal life. So I got to the point in my awakening journey where I had to let go of it all. That’s when I decided to move across the Atlantic, leaving my family, my job, my ‘normal life’ behind, to focus completely on my realization, with my newfound Shaumbra love. But even that didn’t last, for around 2015/16 – when according to Adamus we kicked up the realm work a few notches – that too started falling apart. I ended up living out of my car for a couple of years, traveling around while I tried to find some solid ground without a partner to lean on. It was time to finally becoming sovereign, after 35+ years of co-dependent relationships.
A few times in those years I got to the point where I was ready to throw in the towel. After my last, especially challenging dark night of the soul, little me told all of Me that I was ready to be done with it. If things weren’t going to change for the better soon, I’d rather check out. That’s when I got a number – 2023 – and feeling into it I could feel light at the end of the tunnel. No further details were given, but 2023 was only a couple of years away at that point, so I agreed to stick around to see what it would bring.
And here we are, with Heaven’s Cross in the bag and my job as a Realm Worker done. My ninja days are over! I never resonated with the pirate label that so many Shaumbra embrace. And it makes total sense now. I was one of the stealthy ones, working under the cover of darkness. You never saw me coming, never knew what hit you! I’d be in and out before you could take a good, deep breath.
Heaven’s Cross gave me an incredible sense of completion, of relief and a feeling of great pride in what we accomplished. The knowingness that no one will ever have to go through what we Realm Workers went through (well, at least not on this Earth). I also feel excitement and anticipation about what will happen when all that blocked creativity of hundreds of thousands of Realm Workers will finally be put to use on this old Earth.
I will give myself all the time I need to get used to the idea that I have been released from my duties and that the time finally is here to truly incarnate – probably for the first time ever AND for the last time – and to decide what enjoying life on Earth really means to me. I still have plenty of carrot cake to keep me going, so that’s okay, no rush. But I sure am looking forward to finally getting to the point where I can live up to Tobias’ words; to learn more about what our role was as Realm Workers; to bring the wisdom back to Earth that I gathered in the other realms doing this work; to go out there again, but now taking the human me along for the ride in a conscious way; and perhaps even to teach others how to navigate those realms.
All in all, I am pretty sure I ain’t seen nothing yet!
“…when we find what we’re looking forHeaven When We’re Home – The Wailin’ Jennys
we’ll drop these bags and search no more.
It’s gonna feel like heaven when we’re home.”