Birth
and
RebirtH

When I create a painting, I don’t plan it in advance. I simply look at the canvas and begin to see forms, shapes, and images emerging. It’s as if I am a channel for something beyond myself, something that wants to come through without the interference of my rational mind. There is no control – only allowing. For me, this is the purest expression of Allowing: surrendering to the flow, without trying to manipulate or direct the outcome. I trust the process, knowing that what needs to manifest will reveal itself in perfect harmony.

I had often felt like I was losing parts of myself during the great changes in my life – moving from one country to another, leaving behind passions, people, and identities that once defined me. Yet, with each shift, something deeper remained constant: my inner sun, the connection to my soul.

This realization was both comforting and liberating, and I wanted to capture it in a painting. The image of my newborn self came naturally, reminding me that from the very beginning, we are all deeply connected to our soul, and that life is a process of integrating this connection more and more.

For Shaumbra, who have chosen an accelerated path of awakening, this journey of integration is deeply familiar. We go through countless deaths and rebirths, shedding old identities, releasing energetic imbalances and embracing the mastery of our own divinity. My hope in sharing this story is to remind each of us that no matter how many transformations we go through, our essence is never lost. We are always connected to our inner sun, and every rebirth brings us closer to living as embodied consciousness.

The physical umbilical cord that once connected us to our earthly mother is replaced by an ethereal cord linking us to our soul – our inner sun, our eternal light. This painting represents how every newborn is intrinsically connected to their soul, and over time, a process of deep integration takes place. We all emanate light and are connected to our inner sun, and this connection strengthens as life unfolds and experiences shape us.

Consider those who have had near-death experiences. Regardless of how they perceive the event, these individuals often undergo a radical transformation. They find themselves unable to return to their old ways of living, do the same things as before or maintain the same relationships, as their entire perspective has shifted. They have experienced death and rebirth without physically dying.

But one does not need to go through a near-death experience to be reborn. Every time a profound internal shift occurs, the old self fades away, making space for something entirely new.

When I left Milan to study anthropology in Tuscany, I was desperate to escape the city. However, in doing so, I had to give up my greatest passion at the time: dance. I was part of a theater company, and at just 18, I had been offered a teaching position by the Municipality of Milan. Walking away from that world was painful, yet for years, I had longed for the freedom to leave home and carve out my own path.

Life in Tuscany was an entirely different world – immersed in nature, books, and solitary study. Socially, I was isolated. The people of Siena and its countryside, while deeply rooted in centuries-old traditions, were not particularly open to outsiders. While this preserved their rich cultural heritage, it also meant forming connections was nearly impossible.

That changed when I was granted a scholarship to study at the University of Granada in Spain. I seized the opportunity without hesitation. Suddenly, I found myself in a completely different reality, surrounded by warm, open people, forming friendships that have lasted to this day. The contrast was striking: from solitude in the countryside, lost in books, I was now living a full, social life. And I didn’t come back to Italy; I wanted to live life through experience rather than through books.

The transition from Spain to Brazil, however, was more difficult. Spanish had become my second native language, and now I had to start over with Portuguese. I missed my friends deeply. In Spain, music and the guitar had become my greatest passion, but in Brazil, after a bit of depression, I instinctively shifted from music to visual art. I started creating collages with fabric and recycled materials, an artistic path that would later become an essential part of my expression. Art was and always has been my therapy.

Eventually, I returned to Milan, closing the cycle. This transition was also jarring – people teased me because I forgot my Italian which had become infused with Brazilian accent and expressions. I had to reacquaint myself with technology, relearn how to use a computer, and adapt to working in an office. Moving from the vast, open beaches of Brazil to being enclosed within four walls, staring at a screen, was a shock to my system. But those years also became a time of deep introspection and artistic refinement. It represents also the longest period I remained in a single house. I needed to get grounded.

Finally, I settled in the hills of Gavi, in Piedmont, where I live now. Here, I reconnected with nature, adopted a dog, and met my partner, a chef who passed on to me the love for cooking. We also share a passion for painting, and this has become the longest and most fulfilling relationship I have ever had.

Each place I have lived represents a chapter in my life. Every shift – from one city to another, from one country to the next – has been accompanied by profound inner transformation and a new way of seeing the world.

That experience completely altered my perception. Without even moving from Milan, my life changed dramatically. The workshop facilitated deep healing and integration of the inner masculine and feminine energies, ending the cycles of energy vampirism, suffering, and victimhood. It also helped me recognize the energetic games that had played out in my life.

When the workshop ended, I was terrified of returning to Milan because I knew nothing would be the same. On the train ride back, I could already see people differently, perceiving their energetic interactions beyond their words and actions. Once home, I realized many of my relationships no longer resonated with me. Conversations that had once seemed normal now felt draining.

Receiving daily calls from friends who would talk endlessly about their problems, I began noticing how exhausted I felt afterward. One of the first things I did was disconnect my landline, keeping only my mobile phone. I also distanced myself from certain relationships. Initially, this shift isolated me. But over time, I built healthier, more conscious connections that aligned with the new ways of seeing myself and the world, although not so many as before.

It was a death of my old life and a rebirth into something new without the need to physically die.

This painting, therefore, is a representation of both birth and rebirth – both on an internal level and in our deep connection with the soul. Every transformation brings new light, new awareness, and, as Adamus would say, a lot of Wizdom.